No not me. Okay, maybe me sometimes, but Lucy told me that yesterday before we went grocery shopping.
In fact, she all out refused to go shopping with me unless she could go naked. I was tempted, you know I often fantasize about walking through those long wide aisles all naked and free, throwing toilet paper and organic artichokes into my trolley, as I spurn the gawking on-lookers and feel pity for the clothed… but you, know, I refrain and she must refrain as well.
We went to Pathmark fully clothed.
I bought some fresh lump crab and organic spinach, some cold-pressed olive oil, a few plump and juicy nectarines still swollen from summer, two jersey tomatoes and at Lucy’s request, some lovely New Zealand Kiwi. I brought it all home and stowed it in the fridge and then, made some lump crab cakes – which I dubbed “Crab Burgers” and made a bunch of clawing gestures as I did it. I do amuse myself.
The secret to crab cabs, I believe, is twofold: 1. Have more crab than cake and 2. Make the cakes and chill them for an hour before you fry them, that way they stick together and you have cakes, not crumble. Other than that, crab cakes are a cinch to make. Really, I had forgotten how quick it is to whip these babies up.
Here is my general recipe for crabcakes stolen from a variety of more competent chefs and magazines too numerous to mention, but this one most closely resembles Gourmet Magazine’s Creole Crab Burgers:
This recipe serves 4 people
1 lb lump crabmeat (Don’t crack ‘em yourself. Who has time for that? Get the container of real lump crab meat. It’ll run you less than $20 and there’s no sweat equity)
¼ cup of mayo
3 scallions or 1 ½ leeks
1 teaspoon of Worcestershire Sauce
¾ teaspoon of dry mustard
½ teaspoon of cayenne (if the kids won’t eat it, omit it)
1 cup of dry bread crumbs
¼ teaspoon of salt
¾ cup of oil
Preparation at naptime
Mix together the crabmeat, mayo, scallions, egg, Worcesterhire, mustard, cayenne, salt and the breadcrumbs and keep mixing with your hands until combined. Form into patties – you can make a bunch of small ones or a few big ones – your call. Make nice well-formed patties and line them up on a tray, stick them in the fridge and go play with our kids.
Right before dinner
Heat oil in a heavy skillet on medium heat. Plop those little guys in and fry once on each side, about five minutes total. Transfer to a paper towel and drain off excess oil. Assemble the cakes on warm buns and make a gorgeous salad and do that crab claw thing with your hands and the troops will devour them.