Friday, January 4, 2008

The House Bubonic Built

The Sick Child (Edvard Munch)

The plague has nearly ended.

Let's just say there hasn't been a whole lot of cooking around here these last few days, save for a piece or two of rye toast and some chugging of Pedialyte. The kids are just starting to be back to their old spunky selves. I can be away from a bathroom for like hours at a time.

And Edie in particular taught me some kernels of wisdom that will stay with me right into the New Year - I now understand the term "explosive diarrhea" in a way that I really hadn't before.

When people use the term, like "My horse has explosive diarrhea", (Okay, I guess people don't say that very often, but you know what I mean) I thought they were exaggerating. You know, to be funny and visual. Or gross.

Well, they weren't. There is such an animal as "explosive diarrhea" and you can imagine my surprise when my tiny, sweet, 20 pound baby was able to launch a spray of missile fire with so much velocity that in a single second she had blasted the stuff across her Princess bedroom and full-on drenched me, her father, her sister (who was very confused by the ass attack), a rug, several dolls, some brand new bedding from Ikea, the newly-painted pink walls and the wood floors covering about half the room. We all sort of stood there stunned, covered in poop, looking at each other like she had unexpectedly turned on us with a paint gun.

But the upshot was that this made her feel better and she was content again and fell asleep on my shoulder while David, God bless him, cleaned up and answered all of Lucy's in depth questions about flying poop and it's unusual consistency and it's remarkable ability to be shot out of the tushie at high speeds. And Lucy spent a lot of time on her knees examining the poop on the floor and describing it's color, form and shape to all of us in case we missed it's intricate detailing. "This poopie looks like a triangle riding a cow, Mommy!"

The Bubonic is passing now and tonight we are going to a neighbors to eat German food. I want to tell you all about our big Xmas doings and how we hosted a bunch of parents and kids at our house to ring in the New Year in Rio De Janeiro (which is 9pm our time, so the kids can celebrate - it's our second annual and both times has been a huge success) but it all seems like so long ago already. I doubt you all want to do any more re-living of the holidays.

But I want to start talking about food again next post - I have big plans for really stretching my cooking abilities and techniques this year and I want you all involved with me.

Thanks for all your kind comments and e-mails wishing us a speedy recovery. We are on our way!

xxxooo YM



Snobby Vegan Lara said...

OK that one really had me laughing out loud.

danielkells said...

Aughh poooop! Too funny, Kim! By the by, I made your crab cake burgers from a post back in September, and they were just lover-ly. And Happy New Year to you, David, and the princesses!

Anonymous said...

I wish you would write a book on your parenting adventures...

I stop by your blog often, and am never bored.

Keep sharing :)

clevergretel said...

Talk about a shit storm! You totally have my sympathy. Two years ago, I caught Norovirus, which is a foodborne illness. I was one of 120 infected by eating at a respected restaurant in downtown Chicago. I learned about explosive bodily fluids first hand and was relieved that my toddler was spared.