Still no sign of the CSFB (Sexy but Competent Finnish Babysitter), who I'm sure is living it up on the beach or something and barely even remembering that I exist or that work is piling up or that I need a shower. Badly.
How do you Mom's without sitters ever get to take a shower? Are you that smelly? Seriously, do you just over-perfume to mask the smell? Tips, people. I need tips. My pits are like rotting cabbages.
First, let me tell you something interesting that happened today while I played the role of dutiful mother. Lucy re-named her sister. Her name is no longer Edie.
Lucy spent the whole day bestowing Kahlia with gifts, like a Betty Boop necklace she found at the bottom of the toy box, and walking her around the house, holding her hand, stroking her hair and speaking to her in a wispy baby voice as if she were fragile china and might break at the slightest elevation in volume.
Kahlia actually gets better treatment than Edie, so Edie went with it. Later, Edie sticks a form in front of me, hands me a pen and asks me to make it legal. Okay, that last part wasn't true, but she relished being Kahlia and followed Lucy around the house letting her pet her head like a dog and put little presents in her pockets.
The best part was when Lucy decided to help Khalia board a plane for Croatia. There was a protracted discussion about seat belts. Some snacks. And a flight attendant named Phyllis, who had a limp and required an imaginary Diego band aid to get through her service.
Seriously, I couldn't make this stuff up.
So that, in a nutshell, was my day.
Oh! I am writing a food/humor/parenting column over at Imperfect Parent. The folks at Perfect Parent.com wouldn't hire me.
So, check it out because I tell the story of this morning's breakfast where I make Breakfast Burritos, but I lose the pot holder and so I grab the nearest cloth, which happens to be David's boxer briefs, out of the laundry basket and I use them as a pot holder/dish towel and actually make breakfast using his underwear to keep the skin from being singed off my hand and I eat breakfast with them draped over my shoulder, but not only do I not notice, no one else does either.
Really, not having a shower today is not the biggest problem I have.
Anyway, if you are thinking, Breakfast Burrito because your husband purchased $70 worth of carb free, fat free, dry as communion wafers tortillas and had them shipped across the country, burning countless gallons of fossil fuels and endangering the environment...
...Right, that was my husband. Well, then this is the recipe for you.
The Yummy Mummy's "We Gotta Eat $70 Worth of Tortillas" Breakfast Burrito
Make an omelet. Or even a frittata will work. Not too thick, since you'll have to cut a slice and roll it in a tortilla. You can do your favorite omelet here but it should complement the guacamole. I made a tomato, green onion and cream cheese one. It rocked.
Make the guacamole. Avocados, a little garlic, a pinch or two of salt, a healthy squeeze of lemon juice and a little finely chopped cilantro, if you have it. Tomatoes are optional depending on whether you have them in your eggs.
Get out one or two of the 300 tortillas you have stacked in your freezer. (No idea what I'm talking about? Read my June 3rd post.)
Slather a warm tortilla with guacamole. Add some baby spinach, onion strings, a dab of salsa, whatever floats your boat. Add a slice of omelet. Roll gently in wax or parchment paper. Cut through the middle for easy eating.
These burritos are also great for a breakfast "make your own" where you simply put out the components and let the troops assemble their own.
But use a pot holder...