I fantasize that all my readers look like this. Only without the hair rolls.
And only if they're chicks.
And only if they're chicks.
Here is the conversation we are having right now:
The Yummy Mummy: I have something for you to try. Marinara. Homemade.
Skeptical Blog Reader: Not out of a jar?
The Yummy Mummy: No, this is something you make from scratch and it tastes soooo much better than...
Skeptical Blog Reader: Yeah, this is nice, Yummy-Mummy-Wack-Job. But here's my deal - while you are sunning your size 2 hot model body around the pool and your children are being raised by Guadalupe, Jean Marie and Sven, the international clan of nannies, I have real problems....a mortgage, twins with chicken pox, a husband who lays on the couch and plays with his penis way too often and a dog that pees on my carpet. So I'll be opening my jar of Ragu. Thank you very much.
The Yummy Mummy: Did you just call me "Yummy-Mummy-Wack-Job"?
Skeptical Blog Reader: Focus, Wack Job. I can't make your homemade sauce.
The Yummy Mummy: Look, I know you've got stuff going on. Me too. Although at least my husband can keep his hands out of his pants for hours at a stretch. That's something. C'mon, won't you give it a try?
Skeptical Blog Reader: I know you're not really a size two, you know. I just said that.
The Yummy Mummy: Just make the sauce.
Skeptical Blog Reader: Bitch.
The Yummy Mummy's "Never Buy A Jar Again" Marinara
(adapted from Rocco Dispirito's Mother's recipe)
3 cloves garlic, crushed (you can use the pre-chopped kind to save time)
1/2 yellow onion, peeled and chopped fine
3 tbsp olive oil
1 28-ounce can crushed tomatoes (San Marzano brand, if possible)
1 tsp sugar
1 cup chicken or beef stock (home-made is better, if you have it)
red pepper flakes to taste (optional)
salt to taste
Also optional: Basil, Parsley
1. Cook the garlic and onion in the olive oil in a skillet or cast iron fry pan over a medium-low flame, about 10 minutes or until garlic is tender and onions translucent, not brown (this is called “sweating” because it will draw out a lot of moisture and flavor). Add the chili flakes to taste, if you want them in.
Kitchen Note: If you are doubling this recipe, use a stock pot instead of a skillet. Doubling is a good idea because you can make sauce ahead and freeze it or plan a leftover meal (see these yummy meatball sliders) the next day with the sauce, which always tastes better on day two.
2. Add the crushed tomato to the onion and garlic. Pour the stock into the pan and add the sugar. Stir and bring to a simmer. Taste and season with salt and cover. Go play with the kids and let the sauce simmer on low heat for about one hour, if you can, although it will taste nearly as good if you make it on the fly and have to take it off the stove sooner. The sauce should be fairly thin, but not watery and very smooth. If it is too thick, add some more stock. If it is too thin, uncover and simmer for 3 minutes. You can finish this with sprinkles of finely chopped basil or parsley, if you wish.