Okay, not this one.
The one you'll see when you scroll down the page that I am too embarrassed about to leave at the top of my blog post where it will haunt me and mock me every time I log on.
I'm talking about the one...down there.
I'm mortified because, of course, I try to only post pictures that are either flattering of us (meaning me) or just not unflattering (mainly to me) and so this picture is simply stupidly, irrevocably, ridiculously unflattering. I do not look this ugly. Promise. It does, however, help me explain my story which is about how David and I look when we go to bed at night.
Okay, here's the picture. I think it's far enough down the page now...
We look like freaks, right?
See, we have these reading lights that are like spotlights, shining beacons in the night, and of course, we didn't realize that when we bought and mounted them but they are the least restful lights on the planet. You can't read and get sleepy with the high beams shining in your face and God forbid if David goes to bed first and I'm trying to read, he keeps thumping this way and that all over the mattress, all sending me a message and sighing loudly, as if I can't hear him and he keeps at it until I can no longer enjoy my reading, and I can't get up and go to the living room in case the ghosts are lurking about, and so, I finally turn off the beacon and lay staring up at the ceiling and occasionally sighing at him and thumping around the bed one way and the next.
Not a marriage-maker, if you know what I mean.
And so, we've taken to shutting off the lights altogether and wearing David's camping/mountaineering head lamps. The best part is with all the lights off, it feels like you're in a tent at base camp on Everest, only without all the impending freezing-to-death-alone-on-a-mountain stuff.
So every night now, one of us says something predictable and unoriginal, like "Okay, let's head off to base camp...Hope we don't get hit with an in-coming storm before I can acclimatize and do the second vertical pitch" or "Let's find a nice ledge for our bivy about 6,500m up or so." or "Let's take that snow ramp Alpine-style, baby!"
Okay, David doesn't talk like that. I do.
David's role in this little game is to roll his eyes, climb into bed with a book or magazine, turn on his headlamp and pretend that I am in fact on Everest thousands of miles away.
Every once in a while, I remind him that he should be nice to me because I rappelled 300m down a crystal ice wall just to get to him. But he doesn't care. He just turns off his headlamp and goes to sleep.
PS: Below, I give you one of the best chicken dishes I've had in a long time. The chicken was juicy and moist and the sauce was beautiful - the roasted lemons really make the taste more complex and interesting. I used chicken breasts and boneless thighs. It was great.
Long live Lyidia Bastianich for this one. May the ramp up to the vertical snow bulges be gentle and easy, Lydia. Whatever that means.
Sauteed Chicken with Olives, Capers & Roasted Lemons
Recipe by Lydia Bastianich
1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for drizzling
2 lemons, sliced 1/4-inch thick
Salt and freshly ground pepper
Two 5-ounce bags baby spinach
2 tablespoons plain dry bread crumbs
Four 6-ounce skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1/4 cup all-purpose flour, for dusting
1/2 cup pitted green Sicilian or Spanish olives, sliced
2 tablespoons drained capers
1 cup chicken stock or low-sodium broth
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small dice
2 tablespoons chopped flat-leaf parsley
Preheat the oven to 375°. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Drizzle olive oil on the parchment, then arrange the lemon slices in a single layer. Drizzle the lemons lightly with oil and season with salt and pepper. Roast for about 20 minutes, until the lemons begin to brown around the edges.
Meanwhile, heat a large, deep skillet. Add the spinach and cook over high heat, tossing, until wilted, about 2 minutes. Transfer the spinach to a strainer; press out the liquid. Wipe out the skillet and heat 2 tablespoons of the oil in it. Add the bread crumbs and cook over moderate heat, stirring, until toasted, 2 minutes. Add the spinach, season with salt and pepper and cook for 1 minute.
In a deep medium skillet, heat the remaining 1/4 cup of oil. Season the chicken with salt and pepper and dust with the flour, shaking off the excess. Cook the chicken over high heat, turning once, until golden, about 6 minutes. Add the olives, capers and stock and bring to a boil. Cook over high heat until the stock is reduced by about two-thirds, about 5 minutes. Add the roasted lemons, butter and parsley, season with salt and pepper and simmer just until the chicken is cooked through, about 1 minute.
Transfer the chicken to plates and spoon the sauce on top. Serve the spinach on the side.