Wednesday, November 26, 2008

My Daughter Thinks Macaulay Culkin is Her Mom

So, the other night the whole family was backstage at Carnegie Hall.

David produced two nights of Family Guy Sings! there, which was Seth MacFarlane, Mila Kunis, Seth Green, some other folks reading from Family Guy episodes and singing with a full orchestra behind them.

It looked funny and entertaining, although I didn't get to watch much on the TVs in the green room because I was trying to prevent Lucy from stealing all the cherry tomatoes off the catering table with a stray pair of tongs and lobbing them into the sweet and sour sauce meant as dip for the egg rolls.

And there were the 20 different moments where the girls nearly decapitated themselves while wearing their backstage passes dragging down to their knees, which would invariably get caught on something. And then, strangling and crying would happen. And 5 seconds later all would be forgotten, except for the ligature marks around their necks, and they were on a mission to crash every one of the star's dressing rooms and David and I would grab them by their ears, make some lame silent apology that involved eye rolling and dragged them out flailing and mocking us.

But here's the best part of the night and it's about Macaulay Culkin.

David was at the bar in the green room - Don't you love that there are bars in the green room? - and the kids were playing and all of a sudden, Lucy looked around and realized she had no idea who any of the people were around her and she searched the crowd until she saw the back of my head and found me sitting on the coffee table and sort of leaped onto my shoulder and yelled "Mommy!" and everyone turned around and we saw that it wasn't Mommy at all. She had mistaken Macaulay Culkin for me.

Yes, she thought Macaulay Culkin was her Mommy.

And everyone laughed. Because it's funny when your kid thinks the back of Macaulay Culkin's head looks like yours. But probably not as funny for Macaulay Culkin (I like writing his name a lot) who apparently has a back-of-the-head that resembles the back-of-a-head of a middle aged mom. Not what he was going for when he coughed up $350 at the salon.

But Macaulay was a good sport. Lucy was a little embarrassed, at first, and turned all kinds of red, but she quickly forgot about it when she saw that pelting her sister with kernels of corn from the roasted corn salad could be a satisfying experience.

The kids slept until nearly 10 the next morning. They were spent. Lucy fell asleep with her backstage pass still around her neck.

xxoo YM



melissa said...

Oh Kim. I am SO JEALOUS. Family Guy is my favorite show of all time. That is so unbelievably cool.

Even with the little mixup. ;)

lacrema said...

OK, first I was also jealous (I <3 Family Guy and their live readings are so great I can only imagine what happens when they have a full orchestra). Then I was laughing at the near-decapitations, which I can totally envision. Then I felt bad for Macaulay Culkin. And can I also say that your photo of the cat in the fridge made my week?

Christine said...

Oh my goodness, I know that the point of this story is the hilariousness that is Lucy. BUT if there are any upcoming performances in either the NY or Philadelphia or hell even Delaware area, it is your duty to let me know. I cannot believe I didn't hear about it, I would have so been there.

Sarah said...

Oh my gosh, that is too funny! Poor Macaulay Culkin (I like saying his name, too, now, for some reason). And I am also completely envious of your Family Guy experience; it's one of my favorite shows!

Krysta said...

that's hilarious... he's always looked feminine to me.

Jason, as himself said...

My God what kind of life do you lead? "Oh, I was backstage at Carnegie Hall..." The Yummy Mummy isn't just in the kitchen!

This is a totally funny story. And I feel connected to fame because of it.

::::wifemothermaniac:::: said...

Haha! Just doing some late night blog reading, you know, skimming through lots of them quickly, your blog has me laughing again and again, thank you!