So, David is in LA and Lucy and Edie and I were getting ready for bed last night and Lucy comes over to me and smiles very sweetly and cups my face in her hands and kisses me square on the lips and looks me in the eye and with every ounce of sincerity in her bones says, "I love you a little bit, Mommy..."
This is lovely and makes my heart leap a little because she is being so honest and Lucy is not always so extravagant with her affection and in that moment I feel so loved and appreciated and I fold her into my arms and hold her close and she lets me and then she pulls back a little and finishes her sentence.
"...I love you a little bit," she says again, "but I love Daddy a lot."
And then, she drives home the point by using her fingers to demonstrate how much she loves me (her fingers are like an inch apart) and how much she loves her father (her fingers are like miles apart) and she does it a few more times to make sure I get exactly how much she loves David more than she loves me.
"I love you a little bit, like this, see? And I love daddy a lot, like this. Okay, let me show you again..."
And then, after several agonizing rounds of this, where I am mainly focusing on not bursting into tears, she looks at me for my reaction and I put on my best and most sincere smile and say, "Honey, no matter how much you love me or daddy we love you so much, like this..." and I extend my arms way out from my body.
And she is pleased and falls into me all happy and content. And this sort of mends my broken heart. Well, not really. I'm still a little shattered.