I'm generally not one to call David at the office and tell him I'm about to strangle the kids and he should drop everything and come home and bail me out. But I did, in desperation, send him this text message yesterday:
Update: House a wreck. Edie wailing and begging for boob, like, all day. Presents, kisses, abundant amounts of patience and ice cream did not help. More crying. Just poured myself some booze. We adore you and require your serene guidance and wisdom at this difficult juncture. Before your wife's head explodes. xo
God bless him, he came home early.