David: What are you doing?
Kim: Rolling the pork belly into a roll to make pancetta.
David: What about the botulism?
Kim: Eh, we'll be fine. I'll taste it before I feed it to the girls.
David: You know my cousin died of botulism?
Kim: The transvestite?
David: That's my other cousin. And she wasn't a transvestite. She KILLED a transvestite. She's in prison in Sydney.
Kim: Got it. How did your cousin get botulism anyway?
David: Baked beans. From a can.
Kim: Ew...well, this is different, you know? There's pink salt, cooking before eating...I'm sure it'll be fine.
David: I think if we can hang pancetta without rolling it, avoiding all that anerobic space that breeds botulism spores, and still get pancetta at the end without killing someone in the family, maybe we should do it...
Kim: I'm not going to kill anyone with my meat...
Lucy: (coming into the room with Edie) Did Mommy make something that will kill us?
David: Well, maybe...well, not really.
Kim: Daddy and I are discussing whether to roll the pork belly. It's been sitting in an herb cure. If we roll it and hang it in the cellar, we end up with pancetta.
Edie: Belly. Belly. Belly.
Lucy: But it could kill us? For real?
Edie: Belly rhymes with smelly, Mommy.
Kim: Yes, Edie, it does. Lucy, nothing bad will happen when we eat the pancetta. Daddy and Mommy are just talking about...
Lucy: Don't eat the pancetta, Edie. It might make you DIE!
Edie: Belly, smelly, belly, smelly...
David: Lucy really, Mommy isn't going to kill anyone with her charcute...
Kim: Honey, maybe we should just stop talking before we turn them off bacon altogether.
Lucy: Bacon kills people, too?
David and Kim: NO!
Edie: (laughing) Pancetta is yucky.
Lucy: (laughing) Yeah, pancetta is so gross.
Edie: And makes you die!
Lucy: Let's go, Edie. (They leave the kitchen) We don't want any pancetta, Mommy. We don't want to die.
Edie: Belly rhymes with smelly, Lucy.
Lucy: I know, Edie.
Kim: Nice one, honey.
David: Yep. Nice.
Want in on the next Charcutepalooza challenge? Cathy just announced the March challenge: brining. That means corned beef, people. Check out her post out here at Food52.
Also, congratulations to Basia, from The Blog That Ate New Jersey! You won the pigs kitchen tile from Renee at Kudos Kitchen. Enjoy!