Thursday, April 17, 2008

Can Drink Now Per Doctors Orders...Send Booze

This is what it said in the subject line of the e-mail I received yesterday from my friend Sharleen who just had a baby girl a few weeks ago and who I have not seen since the baby was born...because I am a bad bad friend.

This is what her e-mail said:

According to two independent pediatricians, beer is required drinking by nursing mothers...and wine has been suggested by a midwife to keep postpartum blues at bay .... who knew.

would type more, however, I have yet to master typing with one hand while barracuda child trashes my breast.

Will satisfy my longing for your company, by reading your blog and consuming required beverages. doctor's orders!

Must get together. Need insanity check.


A cry for help indeed. So, I'll be packing up a few things in a basket and heading up to see her at the house in Connecticut.
Here's what will be in the basket:

1. A twelve pack of coronas (a few for us, some for sharing with others)

2. A small bag of lemons.

3. A cute but impractical and expensive dress for the baby that she'll never actually wear except maybe at Thanksgiving, but by then it will be too small.

4. Diapers.

5. Nipple salve.

6. A bottle of Sauvignon Blanc...(in case we have to share with others more)
7. A big brother gift for Benny, who is probably still recovering from sibling-induced post traumatic stress disorder
8. A game for the kids that will keep them so amused (or catatonic) for hours that we can talk and hang out like chicks from our single days (Does such a game actually exist?)
9. Some extra cans of that spray stuff they give you in the hospital to make your vagina feel better, 'cause a happy vagina is a happy woman

10. Another bottle of Sauvignon Blanc (for sharing...or for me)
11. Some nice thick steaks for the grill.

12.A warm tin of these onion strings, which are like sex, which is good since the doctor still isn't allowing that.

See ya soon, Shar!

And really, these onion strings are heaven.Try them with dipping sauces. But make a generous amount - the whole family will devour them.

xxxooo YM

Onion Strings
(adapted from The Art of the Pig & The Pioneer Woman Cooks )

1 large onion

2 cups buttermilk

2 cups flour

1 scant tablespoon salt

Lots of black pepper
/4 to 1/2 teaspoon Cayenne Pepper

Canola Oil
A wedge or two of lemon (optional)

Slice onion very thin. I used a
mandolin to get them very skinny. Place in a baking dish and cover with buttermilk for at least one hour. Combine dry ingredients and set aside. Heat oil to 375 degrees or shimmering on the surface. Grab a handful of onions, throw into the flour mixture, tab to shake off excess, and plunge them into hot oil. Fry for a few minutes and remove with a slotted spoon as soon as golden brown. Repeat until onions are all fried. Heap them on a plate and give 'em a little squeeze of lemon and serve with a pot of ketchup and another of my cilantro mayonnaise for dipping.

The Yummy Mummy's Spicy Cilantro Mayonnaise

Mayo (home-made or from a jar)

Cilantro (
Salt (to taste)

Lemon (a squeeze)

Sambal Olek (optional, for heat)

Combine well in a bowl and serve with onion strings, right next to the ketchup



Anonymous said...

It should be a good lunch/visit.

I just want to make clear that the onion strings are totally from The Pioneer Woman, I just stole the recipe and had to take photos of it.

Anonymous said...

Yes, but I wouldn't have found these little delicacies if not for reading your blog, so you get credit for the inspiration. Thanks!


PS Have so much to tell you about hot dogs (will post soon) and am moving on to home made sausages which I hear are pretty simple. (Is this your take on it?) Also, your inspiration, so thanks!)

Anonymous said...

Sausage is ground meat (preferably freshly ground) with spices and other stuff.

Much of it, such as breakfast sausage, needs to be neither cured or stuffed. So you can grind it, mix it and use it at once. Just keep it very cold until you cook it.

Angie Holt said...

Dear Yummy Mummy,
My heart skipped a beat when I realized my blog was visited by a real life "celebrity"!! Thanks for taking time out of your very busy life to read my little ole blog from Texas. I have sooo enjoyed reading your very witty and really entertaining posts! Since, my hubby makes fun of me for reading a blog from "some stranger in New York", I can now tell him you are no longer a stranger:) Thanks so much!

Angie Holt

Izzy's Mama said...

I must know: Do those onion rings really stand up to being carted around in a tin? They look amazing and would surely make a unique hostess gift. And how on earth do you have time to be sitting around tossing those into hot fat with your little ones under foot? And homemade hotdogs?? You are amazing!

Jennifer said...

I can't wait to try the onion strings. I can actually get all those ingredients here!

Shannon said...

You are an excellent and FUN friend.

About that vagina spray...1. I never knew it existed and 2. You don't necessarily need to have a baby to use it, right? Right!? LOL. I guess because I had c-sections there was no need for me to know about it.

krysta said...

You are the bestest friend in the whole world. Nipple salve and who-ha spray... and beer. I wish you were around when the sous chefs were babies.

Anonymous said...

Angie - Your comment has now convinced my husband that I am, in fact, a "celebrity" and he threw me on the couch and ravaged me last night. Thanks for that. That was very cool.

Izzy's Mama - It would be fun to see if the onion strings can be eaten cold straight from the fridge the next day. I do so love to stand at the fridge and eat with my fingers and gorge myself.

And the hot dogs are easier than baking a cake from scratch. Really. And they don't contain chicken feet and pig balls! I'll post the whole thing soon - Dare you to try it!

Jennifer - I'm glad I finally posted something that might be useful for you over there in Botswana. You know I have no idea what you can/can't get. What is local there?

On another note - please tell your lovely sister "thanks" for being my friend on Facebook. I haven't had the chance to give her a shout and say thanks for taking me by the hand into the netherworld, but I'll be in touch with her soon.

Shannon - Ah yes! You c-section people missed the post-birth inflamed painful puffy monkey genitals stage. The spray makes that all numb and tingly. Intoxicating really.


Anonymous said...

Krysta -

It's never too late.

Just say the word and I'm on a plane with a sixer and a case of who-ha spray. Just for you, darlin'.


Anonymous said...

I don't know about eaten cold from the refridgerator, although I don't see why not, but these are good eaten cold after having been left out all night.

My wife thinks this and my eating day old buttered popcorn are Neanderthal at best.

I don't think the hot dogs were easier than a cake from scratch but they were easy.

Anonymous said...


Obviously, you have not seen my cakes. Lop-sided, falling down, melted frosting, pathetic little creatures. Hot dogs, on the other hand, faired much better.

I'm seriously getting into this Charcuterie thing, although I suspect I won't be curing hams in my kitchen any time soon. I'll leave the die hard stuff to you.

And I ADORE day old buttered popcorn. in fact, it's better when it's a little old. I'm a neanderthal, too. Who knew?


Christine said...

I don't have kids and therefore have absolutely no idea this magical who-ha spray existed. What does it do? I'm pretty sure my vagina is okay with out it, but I wouldn't want it to feel left out and get despondent.

In other not below the belt news, your onion strings look absolutely fantastic. And easy! I feel this weekend will be spent cheating on my diet. YUM.

Anonymous said...

I have kids and knew nothing about who-ha spray. Is this an American thing? Glad to see this recipe, as I just had a conversation with some other friends about how we had to go out to order onion strings because they were impossible to make at home. Apparently, not! Oh, and I just bought cappellini beans, because that tuscan stew from a while back looks really, really good. I'll let you know how it turns out. Maybe we'll even become blog friends too ;-)

Anonymous said...

PS Forgot to mention, thanks for being an inspiration!

Anonymous said...

okay, sorry for spamming you, but apparently I can't type my own blog URL. Chalk it up to sleep deprivation....

Anne Stesney said...

The best friends always give you the cute as hell Thanksgiving outfit. And make yummy fried onions. Oh-and bring you vagina spray. Good lord, that stuff rocked. I think I still have some. And some boob ointment. Why am I sitting here typing this comment? I gotta go find Fred for some fun!

Anonymous said...

Okay, that's it you made me do it - I'm writing a post about the who-ha spray.

It seems many of you have no idea about this tingly vagina-soothing, post-birth phenomenon and now, I feel compelled to share. I'm on a tight writing deadline today (with clients calling me every 2 seconds asking me where their writing is and so I must be a responsible wordsmith and attend to them) but will have it up tonight or first thing tomorrow morning.

See what you guys make me do?

xxoo Kim

Anonymous said...


I assure you I have no interest in who-ha spray.

But whatever keeps you happy