I’m making this short today because I shouldn’t be blabbering on with you folks all day about vaginas and things that make vaginas feel tingly. I do have some standards. A few. Anyway, I’m on a writing deadline and you are serious distraction, my friends. A lovely distraction. I’ve been memed by Evil Chef Mom who has asked me to write a six word memoir. And she has demanded that I be “funny”, “bizarre” and “touching”. No pressure or anything. Heres a recent picture of Evil Chef Mom:
And another:
So, here's my six word memoir, the six words that say everything about me:
Urine on floor. Cheese in potty.
Perhaps, I should work on the touching part...Well, I went with this one because it's the chaotic, crazy, totally adventure-driven, loud, imperfect and perfectly wonderful messiness of our lives that I love so much. Okay, I guess that's touching. And I even got food in there...
Now for your first challenge...
The six word memoir challenge is pretty difficult. It's not easy to sum it all up in 6 measly words, so instead of me memeing people right and left and shaming them into participating with my Catholic guilt arsenal (which is large and powerful) if you want to do it, just let me know in the comments section and I’ll post your sites and links this weekend, so people can check them out.
Now, challenge number 2: I want you to make your own hot dogs.
That's right you heard me. You can stop bitching about all the nitrates in the Oscar Meyer's and all those little pieces of intestinal backwash and guts scraped into a trowel by some minimum wage worker at the slaughterhouse that you know are taking up residence in your bratwurst. Now, you can free yourself of the salmonella-drenched innards thanks to my friend NTSC at The Art of the Pig - a man who really knows his way around a pork butt. Check out his blog - this guy is serious about charcuterie. The things he and his wife do in the kitchen are inspiring.
I love these dogs and so do the kids and they are pretty easy to make. Plus, because you have to do it in steps and let the meat sit over night in the fridge, it's manageable with kids streaming through the house pretending to be airplanes and knocking over the furniture because there's no last minute time crunch. The main thing is keeping the meat cold while you work with it. As always, I tested this recipe while breastfeeding and it can't be that difficult if I can do it one-handed.
It's time to up the game...What's it gonna be the meme or the dogs???
xxoo YM
Hot Dogs From Scratch
From The Art of The Pig, who got it from a course on Sausage Making at CIA.
Ingredients
10 oz lean ground beef
1/2 lb smoked fatty bacon, minced
1 Tbs salt
1 Tbs sugar
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/4 tsp ground white pepper
1/4 tsp ground coriander
1/4 tsp ground nutmeg
1 pinch garlic powder (be generous, use more)
6 oz crushed ice
1 oz nonfat dry milk
Method
- Place the bowl to the food processor in the freezer, place blade in ice bath.
- Combine ground beef with seasonings, place in freezer along with bacon until semi-frozen
- In the food processor place the meat and the ice; process to a smooth texture until the temperature reaches 40 F.
- Add the bacon and process until well blended and temperature reaches 50 F
- Add dry milk and process to mix in.
- Pipe onto plastic wrap, roll, tie every 6 inches. Refrigerate overnight.
- The next day poach in water at 170 F until internal temperature of 155 F; shock in ice water.
- Unwrap and refrigerate until ready to use.
I have to say, I am truly, truly excited about this assignment. Ever since you mentioned homemade hot dogs, I have been eagerly awaiting your recipe. At our house, hot dogs are the guilty pleasure de rigeur.
ReplyDeleteI just went back and read the recipe, which mentions bacon, but the list of ingredients does not. How much bacon? And what should I be doing to it?
ReplyDeleteHey! How'd you get my glamour shots? Those were my private bedroom shots! BEFORE KIDS! You should see how I look now. I love your meme its perfect, just how life is like with kids and you wouldn't trade it in for the world... unless Bourdain came around.
ReplyDeleteIt is 1/2 lb of smoked fatty bacon, minced.
ReplyDeleteOf course you could make your own bacon too, I do.
ham aging, pork smoking, cold bourbon
ReplyDeleteMolly -
ReplyDeleteKeep us posted on how it goes. I was so excited by this that I've been toying with the idea of making sausage next.
Pretty soon, I'll be slaughtering a pig in my kitchen....
And thanks for pointing out about the bacon. I must've deleted it by mistake. I added it back in.
Krysta - You have the luuuurve jones for Mr. Tony, don't you? I mean, he's cute in that used-to-do-heroin-in-the-old-days, bad leather jacket kinda way and I think the rebel, I-hate-Food Network thing is very hot and the way he can eat a spider on a stick in Bangkok is quite good, but you my friend, would drain your children's college funds just to lick his toes in a cheap motel.
And if you ever do, I want you to blog about it...and post pictures.
NTSC - Thanks for the bacon clarification. And about making your own bacon, all I can say is...SHOW OFF!!!
As for my new obsession with sausage, can I make the sausage recipe without the casings the first time around and just make patties? I think dealing with the casings is going to make getting it done all the harder. I like to keep it simple and do-able at least for the first go-around.
Thanks for being my meat muse, you ham-aging, pork-smoking, cold-bourbon-drinking, pork butt-lovin' man.
Charcuterie has a maple bacon which does not require smoking or hanging. Simply refrigerator space and then roasting.
ReplyDeleteBreakfast sausage, which is ground pork, poultry seasoning and other seasonings doesn't need casings at all.
Chorizo and Italian sausages don't need casings. Some recipes that use these actually have you remove the sausage from the casings if it came in casings.
Bratwurst needs casings as will smoked or aged sausages, but I don't see you doing those in a Manhattan kitchen just yet.
If you have a butchershop which will fresh grind pork butt for you then you don't need a meat grinder, yet. Most high end stand mixers such as KA or Viking have grinder attachments which are all you need.
NTSC - Okay, so breakfast and Italian sausages I can do...Do you think I can make my own bacon in my NYC kitchen?
ReplyDeleteHow fun!
Kim
Charcuterie, as said, has a non smoked bacon which doesn't hang. I need to look at the list of ingrediants on that one, but there is no question you can make it in a new york kitchen. You will need a very large zip lock, I think it is two gallon.
ReplyDeleteI made 5 lbs of this bacon at the end of January and will probably need to make another in May.
Nice memoir! It speaks volumes of a woman who has children ;)
ReplyDeleteI've done the 6 Word meme before, so here's my link:
momwantsacure.blogspot.com/2008/03/my-life-in-six-words-only.html
Now it's time to do the hot dog challenge. I can't wait to try it and see how everyone likes it.
Six well-chosen words, darls.
ReplyDeleteHave been laughing my way through previous post and this. Sides seriously sore...
Glad we distract you.
Something is not kosher around here! Those dogs sound might tempting and even though I am not at all kosher I grew up that way and I like an all beef dog. Is there a way to do it without the bacon despite the fact that I adore bacon?
ReplyDeleteIzzy's Mama - Let me ask NTSC and get his thoughts. He's really the expert and I his protege but anything for the woman who turned me onto orgiastic birth. You know, my husband had already seen the site. Did you do that? Is it for real?
ReplyDeleteOh woops! I meant orgasmic birth...that was so Freudian.
ReplyDeleteSausage is ground meat and flavorings. Since this one is made with a food processor there isn't really even a question of texture. I would use the same total weight of meat, but with fattier beef. You will lose the smoky aspect of the bacon.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that powdered soy milk would work, but I'm just guessing here. I don't see anything else that is tref
My dad used to make his own sausage and it was the best thing in the world.
ReplyDeleteI want to do both challenges! Both! I'm a challenge pig! I can't make the hot dogs this weekend because vegetarian best friend is visiting and will retch in my face all day if I do.
I'll work on the six word memoir and post back.
NTSC - Organic Valley makes an organic hardwood smoked turkey bacon. Now, it's not going to be as fatty or tasty as the real thing but if Izzy's Mama used it with a fattier beef she just might get a decent smoked flavor in her dog ...what do you think?
ReplyDeleteAnnie - Challenge whore. Over achiever. Show off.
Love you....
I just had an idea. What about duck bacon?? Duck is far fattier than turkey..Then they would be "Duck Dogs".
ReplyDeleteAs for orgasmic birth it was a goal but sadly unachieved! I am still a believer though!!
I was thinking turkey bacon, but Ive no experience with turkey bacons.
ReplyDeleteDuck bacon, now that is a thought. I've smoked duck breast, but never tried duck bacon.
I guess I have to learn how to make hot dogs. I think you are the evil yummy mummy, not me. I think ntsc needs to make a video so we can watch him make this.
ReplyDeleteI've made dogs, but I used casings. As am deeply involved in a burger smackdown with the best cook in town and a foodwriter for the Buffalo News, my bio these days is: Bacon Curing, Beef Arriving, Cheese Found!
ReplyDeleteHi - I found your blog and I love it. I found this challenge and I'm excited. Unfortunately, there is no Gourmet in my title. Any chance you could help me along with a few things? The recipe calls for 6 oz crushed ice - can you use a little less than a cup or do you actually weigh it out? If I don't have nonfat dry milk because my kids are lactose intolerant, can I leave it out? I didn't know if it was there for seasoning or for consistency. Thank you so much for helping me out on this - I can't wait to feed my kids healthy dogs!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous! Hey thanks for writing! And the kind words. Great to have you with us!
ReplyDeleteThese substitution questions are best kept for the guy who gave me the recipe - NTSC (who is listed in the comments). I am going to go to his blog now and ask him these questions in his comments. I can write you back here or you can just travel over there and pick up the thread (Just link over from here). NTSC knows more about how to cure meats and make home-made pates than just about anyone I know. I go to him with all my "meat" concerns, so you will be in good hands.
And thanks for writing! Please let me know how the hot dogs made out!
They really are quite good. And worry-free.
Kim