So, this is a conversation that happened between an adult mom and her middle-aged daughter, although I’m not saying which adult mom and which middle-aged daughter. I mean, there are billions of mothers and daughters in the world. It could be any of them. Really.
Adult mom: So, why don’t you eat pasta, potatoes and rice anymore?
Middle-aged daughter: Well, because I feel less bloated when I'm not eating carbs…and I don’t know if you noticed, but I lost about 25 pounds since the last time I saw you.
Adult mom: 25 pounds? Well, you look great.
Middle-aged woman: Aww, thanks Ma…
The middle-aged woman is visibly touched. Her mom thinks she looks great. Life is rainbows and unicorns. But then, weirdly, the mother sighs, shakes her head sadly, and in a very concerned voice says...
Adult mom:...But you just can’t get rid of that big stomach, can you?
The middle-aged daughter really loves adult mom, but thinks she might be showing early signs of senility. Or she's drinking too many Manhattans in that retirement community of hers. The husband of the middle-aged daughter has barely been able to stop laughing since he heard this. Although that could be any middle-aged husband. In the world. Really.
Xo YM
Oh my. I had a friend in college who nearly died of anorexia after her mother made countless helpful comments like that while she was growing up.
ReplyDeleteSo tell that middle aged daughter she is pretty awesome, regardless of her mother's feelings about the size of her stomach. And pretty hot, too. :) Good post.
My grandmother always used to say things like:
ReplyDelete"Well, you always had a pretty face."
"You were so pretty when you were thin."
"You looked really nice in this picture." (said picture being 10 years old and taken when I was a bulemic size 2)
I'll trade shit my mother says with you any day in the week. In fact, I think it would make a good drinking game!!!!
ReplyDeleteGo middle aged daughter for the 25 lost pounds... (I did have to join the husband of the middle aged daughter in laughing a little at this...)
ReplyDeleteKinda sad tale to me for a few reasons.
ReplyDelete#1. Middle-aged daughter had to point out to adult mom that she had in fact lost 25 pounds since adult mom last saw her. Adult mom is not very darned observant or IS and did NOT want to make an effort to extend a compliment until the weight loss was mentioned by middle-aged daughter.
#2. Adult mom could not leave a compliment a compliment and felt the need to throw the screw into it with her caustic remark.
Epilogue: Despite what people who mean the most to middle-aged daughter think (or say), she knows that she has done very well with her weight loss and is very proud of herself.
Since cutting out the carbs middle-aged daughter has lots of energy to kick middle-aged husband in the butt for laughing at her expense :)
oh my gosh Kim. I think you hit a nerve with this blog.
ReplyDeleteThe nice thing about being a middle-aged woman is that we can laugh at things like this instead of it actually bothering us. Right? Right?
ReplyDeleteThis may have possibly been my mom and me. Except that the mother is young looking enough to be the daughter's sister and much more fit. And the mother tries to dress the daughter and give her exercise advice to tighten up her chin.
ReplyDeleteYou are gorgeous. And I'm not just saying that.
"Hey Mom - I broke up with Jason today."
ReplyDelete"Oh, I'm sorry - did I tell you that your grandparents are concerned about your weight? Because I promised them I would tell you."
Oh yes. The things mothers say to permanenty, irrevocably scar their children.
*sigh* Sounds like this adult mom is somehow related to my mother in law. You know, the lady who patted my tummy one week after giving birth and asked if I was having another. It supposedly all comes from a place of love, right?
ReplyDeleteAnd for what it's worth, you look amazing. Something I want to aspire to, but prying the Italian bread from my claws will likely never happen.
I know. I get the same crap.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest problem with my mother (and her biggest problem with me) is that I am not exactly like her.
Nope, I don't keep things in, I yell, I let stuff out. I am not going to end up having multiple nervous breakdowns, chronic problems with depression, etc.
You lost weight, you are happy. That is more than most people get. Celebrate that, whether your mother likes it or not.
Oh boy - this reminds me of a conversation between a grandmother and a sister of a nearly-middle-aged woman...
ReplyDelete"Maybe boys would like your sister more if she wore make-up."
Enough said.
xo
I am proud of you, Kim, or whoever the woman was in the story :-)
One head butt to the belly and tight squeeze around the middle from one of said middle age woman's girls should make it all better. I bet they love that little bit of belly left. I hope the middle age woman loves it too.
ReplyDeleteAwesome story! I feel so much better about the almost-middle-aged woman who just got pictures in the mail from her mother so that: "she could remember what she looked like 'before'". Did I mention that in the pictures I, I mean the almost-middle-aged woman was 16!!
ReplyDeleteWe should start a club!
Oh dear. Don't you hate it when moms say stuff like that? Tell that middle aged woman she's beautiful just like she is. And, really, you quit carbs? I couldn't quit them. : )
ReplyDelete