Shrimp Rolls & Cilantro Dipping Sauce

I made this dish last night after dragging two tired, screeching children around the Upper West Side looking for rice paper so I could make a cold shrimp roll with cucumber, mango and cilantro. I had a hankering and I thought the kids would love it. As you know, we are BIG on the shrimp around here.

It's weird when you go into an Asian grocery and you have to explain what you use to make a shrimp roll. I mean, shouldn't they be explaining it to me? But it turns out, half the people who work in Asian groceries on the Upper West Side are Hispanic and only speak Spanish. And I'll be damned but I couldn't remember how to say rice paper in Spanish.

This all amounts to me screaming "papel de arroz!" over the din of my wailing, unhappy children and about 10 different guys shrugging their bewildered shoulders and saying, "Yo no se!"

So, I changed plans. I shelved the cucumber and the mango and pulled some egg roll wrappers out of the freezer. I went from healthy and fresh, to fried and fatty and awesome in like two seconds flat.


David loved them and ate every one in his near vicinity, including the ones I saved out for his lunch the next day. The girls turned their nose up at them as if I had offered them some kind of liver terrine. Liver terrine with poop on top.

Weirdly, I think they felt the egg roll presentation tainted the shrimp they love so dearly and so, they turned their adorable little noses up at even those. Then, to really rub salt in the wound, they jumped up and down on the couch as if to make it quite clear that they were boycotting dinner and wanted me to know that I had failed to give their little bodies' sustenance. Then, they just pretended I didn't exist.

I got the message.

But you should not listen to my crazy children and make these lovely, crispy rolls with the dipping sauce, which is salty and pungent and gives the rolls just a little kick in the pants. And Lord help, me we all need a good kick in the pants once in awhile.

FYI, I ate the remaining dipping sauce over cellophane noodles at like 11pm while watching the last season of "Madmen" (I'm only on episode 4, so don't tell me) and it was pretty satisfying.

I do believe these rolls would be great cold right out of the fridge the next morning with my ice cold tea, but they didn't stay around long enough for me to find out.

xo YM
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Shrimp Rolls

Ingredients

12 egg roll wrappers
¼ cup vegetable oil (for frying)
1 pound of medium cooked shrimp, peeled, deveined & cut into small pieces. (Not minced. I like a little chunk)
4 green onions, finely chopped (some of the green is fine. It'll add flavor and a nice color)
1 clove garlic, grated
1/2 teaspoon ginger, grated (Go easy on the ginger. Too much will overpower the delicate shrimp)
1 good-sized wad of fresh cilantro, minced (Be generous. Cilantro is a good thing)
Juice of half a lime (I only had a lemon and that worked just fine)
1 tablespoon light soy sauce
A pinch of salt
A pinch of pepper
A 1/4 cup of Panko bread crumbs (this sounds weird, but I didn't have cornstarch and this bound up the shrimp nicely and provided a subtle texture inside the roll)

Preparation

Cook shrimp in boiling salted water. About three minutes or until shrimp just turn pink. Don't overcook. Or if you bought cooked shrimp, feel good that you saved yourself some time.

Combine all the ingredients in a large mixing bowl and mix together with your hands.

Dip the egg roll wrapper in the warm water under the tap, just until it feels pliable and easy to work with. Lay wrapper on your work surface and place about 1 1/2 tablespoons of shrimp filling in the middle of the wrapper. Roll in edges and tuck over sides to make your egg roll. I think this is intuitive. You know what an egg roll looks like, you can probably figure out the best way to wrap it. If not, I'm sure YouTube has 3,000 videos of people properly wrapping egg rolls.

Cover egg rolls with a damp towel until you are ready to fry. Heat oil in a wok (or pan) until oil shimmers.

Working in batches, fry egg rolls until they are golden brown on both sides, about 2 minutes on each side. They cook quickly so keep an eye out. I think it's a no-brainer to say that I stop short at letting the kids help with the frying. Boiling oil in a wok and children makes me nervous.

Remove rolls with tongs. Let drain on paper towels before serving

Cilantro Dipping Sauce

Ingredients

5 tablespoons fish sauce
Juice of a half a lemon (or lime)
1/2 teaspoon of sugar
A splash of sesame oil
A small pinch of salt
A hit of cilantro, finely chopped

Preparation

Combine in a small bowl and serve on a platter next to the rolls, cut on the diagonal and piled on top of one another, with a flourish of cilantro leaves.

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"To Hell with Summer" Seafood Chowder

And with Autumn comes the simplicity and joy of just playing in the leaves...



And also chowder. This recipe will warm you on those chilly days, but is not nearly as heavy as braising something. I'm not quite ready for the heavy winter braising. This chowder will remind you of days with more sunlight and less frost and things that are green, yet, will warm you right to the bone. Just perfect for right after jumping in a fat pile of leaves.

As an aside, I load this recipe with prawns. My kids always ask for extra prawns and if there isn't enough, there's hell to pay. And, as you know, I always avoid the hell to pay.

xo YM


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"To Hell with Summer" Seafood Chowder

Ingredients

6 ounces meaty salt pork, rind removed or slab bacon, and diced
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 medium onions
6 to 8 sprigs fresh thyme, chopped
A pinch of tarragon
1 dried bay leaf
2 lbs small red potatoes, skin on, sliced into quarters
5 cups shrimp stock (See Note 1)
Kosher or sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 lb skinless haddock, catfish, monk fish or cod fillets, preferably over 1 inch thick, pinbones removed (See Note 2)
2 lbs of uncooked, shrimp with shells on (use shells for stock)
1 1/2 cups heavy cream (depending on how thick you want your chowder)
8 chives, cut with scissors into fine pieces
Several handfuls of fresh or frozen corn
2 tablespoons chopped fresh Italian parsley (garnish)
2 tablespoons minced fresh chives (garnish)

1. Cooking Note: Shrimp stock can be made simply from the shells of the shrimp you are using for this recipe. Just add to a pot whole a small whole onion, 2 whole carrots and a few stalks of celery. Sweat them a little in oil and butter. Add shells to the aromatics. Sweat those for a couple minutes. Add a little splash of white wine, if you want. Salt and pepper. Add water. Let simmer - but not boil - for a half hour. Voila! Home-made shrimp stock. Betcha cant' buy that at Whole Foods! I usually make this the day before so I'm not making chowder and stock at the same time.

2. Cooking Note: You can use any combination of your favorite seafood - don't let me box you in - clams, scallops, mussels, lobster, go nuts. Just make sure you know cooking times for the seafood you choose. You don't want a pot of over-cooked shrimp and under-cooked lobster. If you need help with that, ask your fish guy. They usually know.

Preparation

Heat a soup pot over low heat and add the diced salt pork or bacon. Cook until the pork is a crisp golden brown. Use a slotted spoon to transfer the cracklings to a dish, leaving the fat in the pot.

Add the butter, onions, thyme and bay leaf to the pot and sauté, stirring occasionally with a wooden spoon, for about 8 minutes. The onions should be soft and caramelized, but not fried.

Add the potatoes and stock. The stock should cover the potatoes. If it doesn't add water. Bring to a boil, cover, and cook the potatoes vigorously for about 10 minutes, until they are soft on the outside, but firm in the center. Smash a few potatoes against the side of the pot and cook for a minute or two longer to release their starch. This will thicken the broth a bit.

If you feel you have too much broth and your chowder might be too soupy, remove some broth with a ladle to a bowl and set aside. You can always add more to the pot if you need it. If you end up having extra broth, freeze it for your next chowder.

Reduce the heat to low and season with salt and pepper. Add the fish fillets and cook over low heat for a couple minutes. Add corn at the same time. Remove the pot from the heat and allow the chowder to sit for 10 minutes. The fish will finish cooking in the pot.

Gently stir in the cream and taste for salt and pepper. You can refrigerate the soup and reheat later or eat it immediately but I like to let it sit a bit. Just don't stir it a lot or you'll break up the fish. This recipe cannot handle lots of fussing. Just season and leave it.

Add cracklings. Serve with minced chives and parsley, either in individual crocks or in a single pot brought right to the table.

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Separation Snappper (Baked Whole Red Snapper with Herbs)

This post is called "Separation Snapper" because Lucy was doing this awesome job going to school, barely looking back to notice us, lots of new friends, every one has been invited to our house to play. It's been ecstasy for all of us. I saw blue skies ahead. Life was freakin' great...

And then...BLAMO!....David goes on business trip and we interrupt her school routine, where David takes her to school on the bike, and Lucy just freaks out.

Next thing I know she's standing at the street corner screaming and crying refusing to take one step closer to school, while I am deprived of caffeine, toting a half asleep Edie, who is pissed I've gotten her up early three days in a row and would rather be in bed undisturbed by the whole early morning school routine. And then, Lucy spends most of her school day mournfully drawing monotone pictures of her and her dad with smiley faces and dolphins and wild flowers, and the other kid's parents pat me on the back, shaking their heads, and say things like, "Having a hard time at drop-off, huh?"

Um, yeah, brainiacs. Thanks for the keen observation.

And the afternoons also blew while David was away because that was the week Edie started a small preschool alternative program two afternoons a week and she has been adamant that separation is not, nor ever will be, in the cards. (Thank you extended breastfeeding) She pretty much spent her first two days of school clutching my knees and refusing to take anything that was handed to her unless I touched it first and gave it to her. Once, she tried to take off her underpants. And she laid across the table while some kid tried to put together a puzzle. She whispered "home" in my ear about 30 times. It was painful. For everyone.

Then, David came back.


Angels sang. Harps played in unison. Church bells rang. And all of a sudden Lucy liked school again. She loved all her friends. She skipped down the sidewalk on the way to school. She started picking out cute little dresses to wear and black Mary Janes. She hummed while she got dressed in the morning. She let me run a brush through her hair. I put a damn barrette in her hair. It was like cooperation central.

And Edie, in what can only be described as the single biggest turn around in the history of the world, decided to take her teacher's hand and go to the roof top playground at her school to play with the kids. Alone. Without clutching my legs like a koala baby hooked to its mommy in the Outback. She didn't look back. The gymnastics teacher said she was a ball to have in class. It was like David's return made everyone feel safe and secure. All was right with the world again.

David is never allowed to travel without us again.

And basically what I figured out is, it's me. I'm the freak that disables my children and makes them go in reverse. (I told my friend Tamara this and she said, "Yes Kim, its you.) I bring out their need to come home, to have home-made soup in bean bag chairs while reading Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs and then, spending the next four hours with meat on our hands making meatballs together in the kitchen. I bring them home. Pull them in close. I also make very good accents when I read books. My Strega Nona/old-Italian-woman-accent is legendary.

David pushes them out, empowers them with big responsibilities, gives them adventure, makes them try new and different things and gets them on planes to countries all over the world. He applauds them when they face the fear and persevere anyway. I say dumb things like, "Oh honey, if you're scared to ride that horse, it's okay, you don't have to."

But David, he inspires them to do it, to face things head on and with a gentle, loving nudge, they are on the horse, a little scared at first, but also a little excited, and the next thing you know they are laughing, smiling, full of themselves, trotting down the trail, out of reach, wanting to do it again, only this time by themselves. And there I am, stuck at the paddock, biting my knuckles, imagining the horse running off with a small child bound up in the reins, terrified, in peril, alone, out of my reach (my mind goes there. alot) and craning my neck to find out when they hell they are coming back.

So, my children would never leave the house if it weren't for my husband and I'm grateful to him. He's back now and everyone loves school. No more morning tears. Or whining. I don't have to drag anyone down the street to school. We're all together and everything is all good.

And today's our anniversary. So, even better.

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So, Separation Snapper...Lucy picked this out for supper after one our harder days without David. She wanted "pink fish with eyes", which is a whole red snapper. Fish with it's head on always makes Lucy happy. Running around Whole Foods gathering up the ingredients for this dish took her mind off her rough day and allowed the three of us girls to reconnect. This is what we threw together when we got home.

When you order the fish from the market or fish monger, get them to clean and scale it. If your family would prefer the "no eyes" variety of fish, you can use fillets just as easily, (and bake them for about 25 minutes) although the whole fish makes a more dramatic presentation. You can also have the fish guy separate the head from the body, so you can cook it and present it with the fish and then whisk it away if someone freaks out about it (Ewww the fish has eyes!) or let them play with it. We always end up playing with the fish head. No shame in that.


Separation Snapper (Whole Baked Red Snapper with Herbs)

1 2-to 2 1/4-pound whole red snapper, cleaned
1 tablespoon finely minced garlic
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice or a few generous squirts from a lemon
5 or 6 sprigs of lemon thyme
10 chives (uncut)
Parsley minced and used at the end for presentation
1/4 stick butter, cut into pieces
2 lemons, cut int wedges (save a few for presentation)
Salt and pepper

Preparation

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use a good size baking pan. Butter the pan a bit to keep the fish from sticking. Wash fish, pat dry with paper towel and place it in center of a pan.

Season cavity of fish with garlic, salt and pepper, and lemon juice. Dot cavity with butter. Arrange some lemon wedges, lemon thyme sprigs and chives inside cavity. (You really can use whatever herb combination you like - I won't yell at you) Season outside of fish with with salt and pepper. Squeeze lemon over outside of fish. Salt and pepper the outside. Top with a couple lemon slices, if you like.

At this point, you can store the fish in the fridge for up to a day. If you can prep the fish ahead, dinner is just putting a pan in the oven. Simple.

Bake fish in oven until cooked through, about 35-40 minutes, depending on the size of the fish. Transfer fish to platter. Serve with a sprinkle of parsley and a generous little pile of lemon wedges.

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What I Learned About 4 year Olds at Lucy's Birthday Party

1. 4 year olds like non-competitive musical chairs. They do not like losing. Or the chance that they might lose. They want to win every time or it just isn’t worth playing. They like you to put out the same number of chairs as kids and then they enjoy going around and around in circles until the music stops and they all rush into a chair and then, they look at each other all pleased and beg to do it again. Just walking in circles to music. That’s what they like.


2. Some parents of 4 year olds say they are going to come to your kid's party, but they don’t really mean it. These people tell you they are coming on the phone the day before, and you give them 15 minutes of directions, and you get your kid all psyched up to see their kid and then they don’t come or call and you are left answering all kinds of questions about where the kid is and your kid tells you that we can’t start the party until the no-show kid gets there. That’s when you start hating the no-show parents and vow to shun them on the playground.


3. 1 year olds who have cake and the equivalent of a pint of ice cream for the first time EVER at your party will stumble around like miniature, glassy-eyed drunks, all stoned and zoned out. A toddler's first sugar-high is good fun to watch. You can’t buy that kind of entertainment.


4. 4 year olds like TV. A lot. They will get dressed up, carry a gift across two boroughs after having a meltdown on a subway platform and not two minutes after their arrival, they are begging you to watch “Pink Panther”. If they could, they would all forgo the party and friends and any human contact and just sit there comatose and stare at the TV screen in one big catatonic clump of bodies.


5. It is completely possible to get up at 5:30 in the morning, make sure all the food, games and goody bags are prepped and ready to go, only to realize half way through the party, the one thing you forgot to do is brush your teeth. Completely possible.


6. If a single child comes to the party dressed in a princess or ballerina costume, every child at the party will storm the dress-up box en masse and demand to be made up with crowns, princess shoes and tutus. Parents will have to be dispatched to their respective nearby houses to get more princess dresses, shoes and crowns. The environment will feel foul and ugly until every last child is dressed in a costume and not just any costume, but one that absolutely meets their approval. Anything else will result in tears and pleas to go home.

7. After the cake, everyone is going to freak out. You must accept this. Embrace it. There will be tears. And pain. And all the good sharing and loving hugs and “she’s my best friend!” and smiles will deteriorate into a pile of sugar and bad will and you will have to take them outside and run them around until they are normal again. You will do this even if it is below freezing outside. Why? Because otherwise sweet kids will turn to ugly, growling, , teeth-bearing hateful wolves right before your very eyes. There is nothing you can do about this. The air will turn putrid with children on a bad sugar high. Just drink, wear ear plugs and wait it out.


8. You will hurt someone’s feelings. If you live in a NYC apartment, you cannot invite a herd of people, lest the event turn into a frat party with people drinking in the closets and eating on the toilet, and me doing nothing but cooking in the kitchen and ignoring my children, so you have to keep the number at a manageable limit and the work load light and since it is your kid’s party, not yours, they get to say who comes. So when Lucy said “No penises in the room,” or however she phrased it, I went with it. No boys. (Dads okay.) I mean, you can’t have a garden party with pink napkins and tables covered in rose petals and invite a bunch of boys who will use the rose stems as warrior swords and impale your favorite bunny. I get that. So, we left out all our good friends who have boys. But since I didn’t call all our friends who have boys and tell them they were officially dis-invited, some people just thought we left them out. This sucks, because I do care about my friends feelings, but everyone will just have to suck it up. Because this party was about my kid, no one else, and in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not perfect.


9. The “garden” birthday party, topped off with a next day trip to the butterfly exhibit at the Natural History Museum, will rock your child’s world. They will love everything you do, even if there were 10 things you wanted to do, but didn’t quite get done. 4 year olds don’t care. They will be thrilled that they packed the apartment with all their friends. They will laugh, smile, run, jump, hide, sing, dance and you will be completely happy that you got up at 5:30 in the morning to put this whole thing together. And people malign goody bags - costly, stupid toys, part of the whole competitive birthday neurotic mom NYC thing – but just wait until your kid, who picked out every toy in the bag and filled each one carefully and made sure each had exactly the same things inside (”so no one fights”) brings them out of the bedroom and hands each one to each child, beaming with accomplishment and pride as she does it. All hail the goody bag!


10. 4 year olds are proud to be big. They will tell you to leave them alone because they can get their pants on themselves and every time you try to grab their hand, they’ll remind you they are 4. 4 means no more pull ups at night. Sleeping by yourself in the bunk bed. Staying up a little later. Getting a couple more responsibilities around the house. 4 is getting to go to the neighbors house by yourself, sans grown up escort. 4 means you can be trusted to do things. You can make decisions that effect everyone else in the family. 4 is having some control over your own life, good or bad, and having a say in the order of the world. 4 is a force to be reckoned with.

4 is big. 4 rocks.

xxoo YM

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Gordon Ramsay's Cod & Tomato Chowder. And My Genius Kids.

So, this is the girl's "cow bathroom" and this is their bathroom library purposefully placed next to the potty so as to inspire long periods of uninterrupted pooping.

But look a little closer....


One of them has tired of Eric Carle and has taken to reading Strunk & White's Elements of Style. When I saw this yesterday, while giving them a bath, my writer's heart lept with jubilation. One of them chose this book from the big library and stashed it here. Fantastic.

I mean, if they are already breezing through the Elements, which is probably the most boring book on the planet, then have mercy on me, these kids are going to be playing concertos by next year and performing brain surgery between naps.

I am the mother of geniuses.



Just wanted to share that with you, you know, in case your kids haven't quite started on Strunk yet. Don't fret too much. We can't all have birthed exceptional children. I mean, my womb was pretty special. Lots of blood pumping through those vessels. And there's nothing wrong with Eric Carle. That shit is good. There's the one about the caterpillar who eats everything and gets obese and, you know, then becomes a butterfly, which is cool because it sends the message that eating a lot of cupcakes can make you beautiful, which it can, and there's the spider who spends the whole book silently building a web until on the last page and she suddenly gobbles up the poor fly, all smug like, teaching us that lying in wait and snapping someone's head off without warning is, like, a good thing. And really, kids love death in their books. It's good family fun. You just keep reading to them and they'll get the hang of it one of these days. You know, because you have to meet them where they are, when your kids aren't geniuses.

Okay, now that I got that out of my system...

I beg you - yes, I beg you - to make this seafood chowder. It is fantastic. It's from Gordon Ramsay's book, Healthy Appetite, which I impulsively picked up at Borders because I needed some cooking inspiration. I love Ramsey's recipes which I find are always spot on and simple, plus he offers me the perfect combination of sexy and mean. Sexy and mean is hot.

You won't be able to throw this chowder all together last minute, but if you do all the chopping and dicing ahead of time and stow it in the fridge, dinner will only take about 15 minutes from stove to table.

And it tastes great. Lucy was concerned about "the sauce" aspect of it, since it is a very thick chowder-y broth and we are still hovering in a place where we are suspicious of sauce, or anything remotely sauce-like, pertaining to sauce or created from the sauce. But Edie gobbled it up and picked all the shrimp out by hand and finished it off by drinking the broth out of the bowl.

Gordon's recipe - I like to call him Gordon now - calls just for Cod, which was about $6 for a pound and a half. Great for these troubled financial times. But I had a pound of shrimp in the freezer and so, I added it and the dish was divine. Try it either way and you'll love it. I promise.


The Genius Kids Mother's Cod, Shrimp & Tomato Chowder
Adapted from Gordon Ramsay's Cod and Tomato Chowder

Ingredients:

* 3 tbsp olive oil
* 1 good size hunk of butter
* 1 medium tomato, diced
* 2 medium onions, peeled & roughly chopped
* Sea salt & black pepper
* 2 large carrots, peeled & roughly chopped
* 2 large waxy potatoes, peeled & roughly chopped
* 1 sweet yellow pepper, cored, seeded & roughly chopped
* Few thyme sprigs
* 1 bay leaf
* 14oz can chopped tomatoes
* 3 ½ cups fish or chicken stock (I used half shrimp stock/half chicken)
* 5 oz green beans, cut into short lengths (I used pre-cut frozen ones)
* 1 zucchini, roughly chopped
* Few dashes of Tabasco sauce (optional - I omitted this)
* 1 1/3 cod fillets, skinned & pin-boned
* 1 pound of medium shrimp, shelled and deveined.
* Bunch of Italian parsley, roughly chopped

Directions:

Heat the olive oil and butter in a heavy pan. Add the onions, celery, and some seasoning, and cook, stirring over medium heat for six to eight minutes to soften. Add the carrots, potatoes, sweet yellow pepper, and herbs and sauté for five minutes until the vegetables are lightly golden.

Add the canned tomatoes and the chopped tomato to the pan and pour in the stock. Cover and simmer for about seven to nine minutes until the vegetables are tender. Now tip in the green beans and zucchini, give the mixture a stir, and simmer for another three minutes. Check the seasoning, adding a few dashes of Tabasco to spice up the chowder, if you like.

Lightly season the cod fillets and lay them on the vegetables in the pan. Add the shrimp. Cover the pan again and simmer for three minutes until the fish is opaque and just cooked through. (Don't over-cook the fish. It will cook just sitting in the broth after you turn the heat off.)

Using a spoon, gently break the fish into large flakes. Lade the hot soup into warm bowls and scatter a handful of chopped parsley over each serving.

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The Picture that Sums It All Up...

David's rock climbing shoes tossed aside next to Lucy's princess shoes.

Does anybody in this family actually pick anything up?

Okay, I have a fun party recipe for you. I totally ripped this off from the absolutely awesome Melissa at Alosha's Kitchen who ripped it off from the absolutely awesome Mario Batali. So, how could I go wrong?


I doubled this recipe for about 12 people at a pot luck we hosted for Kian's birthday - that's Kian from Red Cook. It worked out great.


I couldn't get Manila clams here in Harlem, so I used Top Necks which are a little bigger and meatier, but they were just fine. I think you could also sub in just mussels if you wanted to do this recipe on the cheap.

Anyway, I highly recommend it. It takes about 10-15 minutes to whip up and it is ridiculously simple. You can't mess it up. Serve it up in big pan and it looks impressive. Make extra and re-heat the next day for lunch. Scrumptious.

xxoo YM
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Babbo Linguine with Clams and Pancetta
Mario Batali

Ingredients

1 pound linguine
½ medium red onion, finely minced
¼ pound pancetta, cut into 1/8th inch dice (or mole salame)
4 cloves garlic, peeled and thinly sliced
6 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon crushed red chiles
1 pound Manila clams, scrubbed and rinsed
2 cups dry white wine
4 Tablespoons unsalted butter
1 bunch Italian parsley, finely chopped, to yield ¼ cup

Directions

Bring six quarts of water to boil and add 2 tablespoons salt.

In a large sauté pan, sauté red onion, pancetta, and garlic over medium heat until onion is very soft and pancetta is translucent, about 10 minutes. Add hot chiles, clams, white wine, and butter and bring to a boil. Cook until all clams have opened, and then set aside.

Boil linguine according to package instructions. While softened but still firm, drain in colander over sink and toss into plan with clams and stir gently to mix. This should still be a little broth-like. Add chopped parsley, pour into warm serving bowl and serve. Continue Reading...

Be Damned the Political Conventions: Let There Be Tapas

I'll be happy when these political conventions are over.

David has started to repeat things from the speeches. It's annoying. Recently, he's been dropping Obama-isms into everyday conversation.

Several times a day now as I am justifying some parenting technique that I think, even though it isn't working right now, will pay off somewhere down the line or explaining why I should wear a certain style of clothing or why Lucy should do tap instead of Tai Kwon Do or whatever thing I feel needs my thorough analysis and explanation and David will stop, look at me with the kind of smug look that parents give their kids when they know they have won the argument before the words come out of their mouths, the smugness that comes with knowing they will deliver a conversation-stopper that will halt the kid dead in his tracks with no allowable room for whining or pleading.

Like this one, which I never use, but is one that I regard highly and keep for just the right time - "But you said your tummy was super-full and you couldn't possibly eat another pea...I'm sure there isn't room in there for ICE CREAM, right?"

Aaaaaah! Score.

How does a toddler come back from that? The kid is stuck - He must eat the peas to get the ice cream or he can refuse the peas and lose out on the ice cream. This is when parents absolutely SUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Anyway, this is what David has been doing to me, stealing bits of memorable phrases from the speeches and lobbing them into any conversation that comes up.

This one is his favorite:

"I know you care, sweetheart but you just don't get it," he says as a response to just about everything.

And really, there is no retort. Except maybe rolling my eyes and pretending that my husband was accidentally lobotomized in a tragic combine accident. (Okay, that's not funny. Farm equipment is dangerous.)

And thanks to you, Obama speechwriters. You've made me feel like John McCain in my own home.

Okay, I promised tapas last week and have lazed about the Hamptons this weekend as if I had no other mandates or jobs to get done. So, I give you my favorite, worthwhile tapas from the dinner I had last week.

Enjoy with a little beer or Spanish rose!

xo YM

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These dishes are all adapted from Food and Wine Magazine but you should re-jigger to taste. This "food magazine" didn't even include salt and pepper in the recipes. Not that I'm bitter or anything. The food ideas are good, but I did a lot of re-seasoning at the stove. I tried to include my re-seasoning here, but you should expect to do the same.

Chorizo, Chick Pea & Spinach Salad
Serves 6

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
8 small chorizo sausages, sliced
2 garlic cloves
1 onion, chopped
1 can of drained chick peas
2 good-sized handfuls of baby spinach
1 tsp sweet paprika
1 tbsp parsley
Salt and pepper to taste

Heat olive oil in a large frying pan, preferably cast iron, over medium heat. Add onions and garlic and saute until clear, about 5 minutes. Add chorizo and saute until beginning to turn golden brown, about 5 minutes. Add chick peas, season with salt and pepper. Let simmer for a few minutes. Add chorizo back in. Add spinach, just until before it wilts, about a minute. Sprinkle with paprika. Dust with parsley. Bring to table in the pan.


Sardines Escabeche
serves 6

2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
12 fresh sardine fillets (not from a can)
2 sliced garlic cloves
1 tbsp fresh rosemary
2 fresh bay leaves
6 whole cloves
1 tbsp fresh thyme
1/4 sherry vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste.

Heat olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat and cook sardines for about 4-5 minutes. Remove from pan and place on a plate. Add remaining ingredients to pan and cook for 5 minutes. Salt and pepper to taste. Pour over the sardines and serve warm or cool.

Note: I do not like sardines and this dish tasted so tangy and un-sardine like that I will definately do it again. The sherry vinegar and herbs really give the fish a huge hit of acid which just sets it apart from run of the mill fish preparations. In fact, after making these tapas, I am a sherry vinegar convert. It's worth buying the big bottle.


Lamb Cutlets with Fig and Tomato Salsa
Serves 6

12 trimmed lamb cutlets
12 cherry tomatoes
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
2 sliced garlic cloves
1 sliced onion
3 fresh bay leaves
6 halved ripe figs
1 tbsp sherry vinegar
salt and pepper to taste

To make the salsa: Blanch tomatoes briefly in a sauce pan of boiling water and transfer to a bowl of ice water. Peel off skins. Heat olive oil in a frying pan over medium heat and saute garlic, onion and bay leaves until softened or about 5 minutes. Add tomatoes, figs and sherry vinegar and cook for another 5-7 minutes.

meanwhile, cook lamb cutlets over high heat in a cast iron pan or grill pan to get a nice sear for about 5 -7 minutes for medium rare. Transfer to plates and smother with salsa.

Note: This dish is gorgeous - the summery green of the figs and the eye-popping brilliant tomato reds make this dish impressive to bring to the table. You can also prep all the ingredients before, blanch and peel tomatoes, chop garlic and slice onions, etc and have them all ready to go in your "mis en place" and then, the dish can be whipped up in under ten minutes.


Stuffed Cherry Tomatoes with Tuna, Parsley, Garlic, Capers & Tarragon
Serves 6

12 ripe cherry tomatoes (the very little ones are unruly suckers, go bigger if you can find them)
1 can of tuna, drained
1 tbsp flat leaf parsley, chopped
1 tbsp tarragon, chopped
2 tbsp capers
2 cloves of garlic, chopped
1 onion, finely chopped
2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
1 tbsp sherry vinegar
Salt and pepper to taste.

Blanch tomatoes for 5 seconds in a sauce pan of boiling water. Transfer tomatoes to a bowl of ice water. Peel skin off tomatoes carefully.

Slice off tops and carefully hollow out the insides with a small spoon or melon baller. You can easily mash them, so be gentle. Set on a tray.

Mix together tuna, parsley, tarragon, capers, garlic and onion in a bowl. Ad in olive oil, sherry vinegar.Be generous with salt and pepper. Stuff the hollowed out tomatoes with the tuna mixture and serve on plates.

Note: This dish can be completely prepped ahead. Make the tuna mixture and keep in fridge. Prep the tomatoes and stow in fridge. Put the tuna in the tomatoes 15 minutes before dinner. I included this dish because it is one dish you can make ahead and you won't have to fire it before it gets to the table, which will help if you are making various tapas dishes.


This pate-like dish is easy to make and comes straight from my friend at Art of the Pig. I'm a bit queasy about the handling of chicken liver. Or having it near my person. Or in my house. Or my neighborhood. Or that it simply exists. But this guy makes making meat more manageable. (I think that should be the tag line on his blog.)

If you like the chopped liver, you'll like this. At Art of the Pig, they call it, "Liver Flavored Butter". And it is. But I won't be offended if you just buy pate at the store...

Chicken Liver Parfait

2 lbs chicken livers
1 1/2 lb butter
1/4 Cognac
1 tablespoon oil

Soak chicken livers in ice water for two hours.

Place in 5 cup terrine (glass bread pan will do) with oil, Cognac, two pinches of salt and one of pepper.

Marinate for two hours.

Place terrine in a warm water bath in preheated 300 degree F oven. About 40 minutes, livers should be firm but still pink inside. Let cool and drain them.

Puree the livers and whisk in warm, room temperature butter, adjust seasoning. Wash terrine out. Place liver/butter mix back in terrine.

Chill for 24 hours. Serve with toast. Continue Reading...

Miami Beach Sushi Orgy

So, Lucy and Edie and I spent the day in the hotel pool, which was warm, like bath water and the girls played in the tanning cabanas and jumped into the 3 foot roof top pool with nothing but their nudey little bodies and there was laughing and some cajoling so that I would take them far out into the deep end, which was like all of 4 feet, and Edie slept in the shade while Lucy and I splashed each other and I pretended I was a friendly shark and then a terrible shark, until the screaming of little girls, mine and other people's, was too much for our ears to bear, and I became a friendly shark again, much to everyone's relief.

That was my day in a nutshell. Pretty freakin' fantastic, huh?

Poor David was stuck in the theatre working. He was stressed. I was a shark. With a tan. There you go. Life isn't fair.

So, it's not always easy feeding all of us when we travel. There are always situations we can't predict or plan for, like that first meal after we get to a destination or before we do the first proper grocery shop or if we are laid over unexpectedly, so sometimes it's a challenge to get everyone eating the way I want them to.

I'm not the type to carry a neatly wrapped wad of organic, grass-fed bison in my brassiere for that "just in case" moment when the children cry out in hunger, nor can I butter poach a lobster with nothing but a hot pot and a bag of M&M's from the mini-bar.

So, I want to share with you the sushi orgy that occurred on our first night here. I particularly loved this dinner because we were all ferociously hungry and we gourged ourselves. There is a sushi restaurant and "Sakatini Bar", whatever the hell that is, in our hotel and so we stumbled down there before unpacking and settling. And we went a little nuts.

What I think is important about this meal, that you will see in the pictures (below), is that Lucy really went to town on her sushi and maki. This is important because although she has played at eating sushi - she's tried it, ate a little here and there, rolled it around her mouth, but never really made a meal of it - this time something clicked and she really indulged lavishly on her sushi. And mine.

This means that the old food wisdom about kids is indeed true - sometimes you have to put food in front of kids time after time - while they turn up their noses or spit it out onto the table or shout "That's disgusting!" at the top of their lungs - before they come to accept it and eventually love it.

This meal reminded me that it's all worth it. See for yourself...

xxoo YM


PS: Notice that my children started out the meal clothed. And ended up topless before we got to the entrees. That's my girls...

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Continue Reading...

The Circle of Life at Slaughter Beach

We're home now. The holiday is over. But there's enough sand in the laundry basket to remind me of what a great time we had at the beach.

I want to tell you a little something about my friend Kian over at Red Cook. A warning, in case you all become friends with him - if he's at your house, and your kid's goldfish dies in the bowl, it's better you don't mention it to Kian because while you're considering how to embark on the inevitable "circle of life" talk you're going to have to have and your kid is drying her tears and writing the eulogy you'll all be saying over the toilet bowl, Kian will be in your kitchen gutting and grilling the little guy and serving it to you with a glass of good chardonnay.

The man will cook anything. I have two examples for you just from this holiday weekend. And the pictures to prove it. Here we go:

This is Kian eating. You can't miss him because he's Chinese. The other one is Warren.




Warren is Kian's partner and he spent a good deal of time this weekend trolling the shallow waters for little crabs, anemone and any shells that might house small edible vermin and then, like a small child with a fistful of weeds, held them up to Kian expectantly in the kitchen, with an expression of pure joy and then, Kian, like the dutiful Mommy, smiled and whipped Warren's scavenging into some kind of gourmet treat.

Seriously, if it wasn't bolted to the ocean floor or covered in barnacles, Warren was dragging it into the kitchen. This time, Warren brought home "Conch".

Or as I like to call it, "Slug".




And so Kian, like he was in some episode of "The Next Food Network Star" whipped up Conch Fritters. Because this is what you do when life gives you Conch...you make Fritters.




David liked the fritters (he made a small carb concession here, holiday and all that)and then he made the mistake of asking me what they were made of and I told him all about Warren with his pants rolled up around his knees and wearing his funny hat, pulling conch shells out of the shallow ocean and how Kian yanked the slugs out of the shells, all wiggling and screaming, and chopped them up finely and how they were kinda like escargot. And it was a nice story, I thought.

And I was just getting to the fritter part of the story when David made the biggest vomit face I've ever seen and said, "You have to tell me what's in these things!" and then he wiped the inside of his mouth with a baby wipe a lot.

When dining with Kian it's always best to not ask any questions, just eat.




I took some pictures of the Conch Fritters, but I think Kian downloaded them onto his computer and not mine, so go to his site and bug him to post the recipe and the pictures. They look completely normal and yummy, if you don't know what's inside them.

And then, there's the shark...




The kids get credit for finding this guy dying in the shallow waters in front of the beach house, but really, I found him first, and me and this other guy picked him up and tried to help him swim away, but the poor little guy had a huge hole in his head and he was scraped down the back of him and as a group of kids, fishermen, curiosity seekers and casual onlookers gathered around him, like they were watching a terrible accident on the highway, it was pretty clear he was on his way out.

Here are the gawkers, the lot of 'em. You'd think they had just gotten back from hunting the big cats in Africa.




This is the part where Lucy got all melancholy and I had to explain to her that the shark was dying and that we were going to bring him out to sea and let him die peacefully and that other fish would eventually eat him and this was "the circle of life" and then, Lucy seemed satisfied with this and noted that the shark was dead just like Murphy The Cat and maybe Murphy The Cat and the shark would be friends. But she wanted to stop looking at the shark and so we walked back to the house.




This was all fine until someone happened to mentioned to Kian who was chopping up slug in the kitchen, that a shark, so fresh that it was still in the throes of death, had washed ashore. It was like we had mentioned a 50% off sale at Williams Sonoma, because Kian dropped his butcher knife and was off down the beach like a shot and the next thing you now, he's fishing dying shark out of the water and contemplating shark steaks for dinner.

Look at him. He's butchering the fish in his mind.




This is when Lucy starts to wimper. Not cry exactly, but she's looking pretty sad and confused. And I think if she sees the fish being gutted, it'll send her into a life of veganism and because I don't want her to be palate-less and make people cook her special meals at dinner parties (Just joking vegan readers. I love ya.) I decide she's not ready to see "the circle of life" up close, so she goes to play on the beach with Edie and David and I shoot pictures of the slaughter in the kitchen, which is funny 'cause we are on Slaughter Beach at the time.

Slaughter. Get it?

Anyhoo, here is Kian disemboweling the shark. It is in fact dead at this point, so please do not call PETA. Thank you.




Here is the shark's decapitated head. Nice.




All meat. Nice and clean.




The stink of all the organs being pulled out of the body has subsided a bit, so now the gawkers come back to the kitchen to watch the easy part of the butcher.

Light weights.




This is where Kian gets all excited and starts talking about how "fresh" the fish is and putting it to his nose and smelling it and passing the carcass around the room asking people to take a whiff.

To which I reply, "Yes Kian, it's fresh. It was alive like two minutes ago."




Yeah, so, Kian actually saves the shark head for broth. You gotta have a mighty big pot for that thing, don't ya think?




If you were wondering, I did not actually eat the shark steaks, although I believe they were grilled with a little salt, pepper and olive oil, and as I hear it, they were pretty good.

Call me a wuss, but I just couldn't eat Murphy The Cat's friend in front of my kid.

xxoo YM


PS Kian, I love ya, but I'm not letting you anywhere near the aquarium... Continue Reading...