This is the conversation I had with Lucy yesterday that explains why I keep finding tampons in the potted plants.
Lucy: Mommy, you were a Grumble Fish yesterday.
Kim: Yes, I was wasn’t I? Do you know why I was a Grumble Fish?
Lucy: Because you had your period and your period makes you Grumble-Fishy.
Kim: Yes, that’s right. Sometimes it does. I'm sorry about that. You know I love you and am proud of you even when I'm a Grumble Fish, right?
Lucy: I know...Did you use me and Edie’s magic wands?
Kim: Yes, they are called tampons. And no, they aren’t technically magic wands.
Lucy: Yes, yes, y-y-yes they are. Me and Edie are fairies with them. We go “pop” on her head and we m-m-make a wish.
Kim: My tampons make wishes come true?
Lucy: Yes, they’re magic.
Kim: Magic tampons.
Lucy: I like to throw them high in the sky and hit the clouds.
Kim: I guess that explains why we have a tampon clinging to the leaves of our ficus.
Lucy: It reached the sky.
Kim: I see.
Lucy: Can we have twins now?
Kim: (I choke on my tongue)
Lucy: I'll wish for it with my magic wand.
(I hand her the tampon from the ficus and she goes skipping into her bedroom. I hear her "popping" Edie on the head and instructing her to wish for twin baby sisters.)
Damn those magic tampons.
As I'm sitting here now writing this, I see an unwrapped tampon sticking out of the stereo speaker. Note to self: Put tampon box up on high shelf.
And yes, for those people who can read between the lines, after a period of nearly two years of continuous breastfeeding, we are officially back in the baby-making business. And still breastfeeding.
Someone throw confetti. My husband’s going to be having a lot more of the sex.