Yes, that's my seriously cute kid eating ribs. But first, let's get to the good stuff.
Here is David, riding a mechanical bull at the pork extravaganza known as "Rib Fest" held in New Paltz, New York.
He's somewhere on the ground under the bull.
Unfortunately for me, he looked great on the bull and didn't humiliate himself. Bummer. I was kind of counting on that.
I got all excited when he said he was going to ride the bull 'cause I was thinking in my head, "Oh man, I'm so gonna blog about this and he's gonna go flying off that thing and I'm gonna have this great shot of him screaming and ripping through the air and then the end shot will be like the gash on his leg where he careened into a clown making balloon animals for the kids."
That's right, that's what I was thinking. I'm a shitty wife.
But none of this happened. Turns out my man is a gifted mechanical bull rider. Not one audience member laughed at him or pointed or whispered something like "That poor girl, married to a boob like that," and I checked. I asked around. I got nothing.
The guy was cool looking even when he fell, but he stayed on the bull so long no one cared. Even the stupid hat looked good on him with his long hair. People clapped. And when he opened his mouth to speak and his Australian accent came out, he looked even cooler, more exotic, like he had grown up riding kangaroos or something in the bush.
By the time, he made it back over to me, he been elevated to national hero status. Someone started singing 'Danny Boy'. A group of drunk men wanted to carry him around the grounds on their shoulders. A woman flung her panties at him.
Okay, that panty part was a lie. But the rest?...on my podiatrist's eyes.
So, then we did what any self-respecting family of a national hero does when they go to Rib Fest - we went hunting for pork.
That's when we found Moe's from Boston. These guys are serious about their ribs. The line for their ribs, pulled pork and fixin's went so far back, we knew these guys had to be special.
This is Moe.
And the gang. Doin' their thing.
And then, we ate. A lot.
And then, Lucy showed me the ribs inside her mouth. Which is pleasant.
And then, we took our full bellies and went climbing in the nearby Shawanagunks. Let me re-phrase that. I sit around and drink Diet Pepsi, which David calls "The Black Cancer Juice" and flick ants off my legs, while the rest of the family dangles off the edges of cliffs.
My lot in life is to watch the people I love do death death-defying things. And then, feed them afterwards.
Sounds not so bad to me...