So, I did that thing where I stomp around the house at midnight on Sunday realizing that the house is a mess - no, a catastrophe, a crumb-infested lagoon of filth - and that I would start Monday with about 3 hours of house cleaning.
I would have to clean the house before the cleaning lady got there, because if you don't clean for the cleaning lady then you just end up paying for her to pick up your socks and dirty, mangy underpants, instead of doing the real stuff that involves scrubbing things with brillo and disinfecting with bleach.
And so, I made a grumbly comment to David about how "we just can't do this anymore" and I was very dramatic and he listened to me rant and didn't say a word, didn't remind me that I laid on the couch all evening, like a festering pile of laziness, finishing Stephanie Myers "New Moon" (book #2), which wasn't nearly as good or as riveting as "Twilight" because the whole book was about Bella and a hairy, 16 year old werewolf.
"New Moon" had the sexual tension of lint. No, lint on a turtle's back. That is, until Edward returned all cold-chested and ripped from the throes of vampire death. Then, it was on, people. And I couldn't care that the house was littered with cracker crumbs and chicken bits. The children ran naked and tore the curtains from the windows. They went to bed dirty-faced, begging for scraps of food, hair in knots and feet like they had just trekked through the Alps.
Which is why it's perplexing really that I cared so much about our hygenic inferiority at midnight. I mean, I made this proverbial bed, right?
But I did and after ranting I went to bed. And when I woke up in the morning, I found that my wonderful husband had wordlessly cleaned the whole house at like two in the morning. For his slightly crazy wife who is prone to the occasional irrational meltdown. He's a saint.
Sure, Edward will protect Bella from werewolves and rogue blood-thirsty vampires, but will he clean her house after she has a mental breakdown? I think not.
Bella, eat your heart out.
PS: I have a new article up over at Imperfect Parent about my Kid's Halloween Manifesto. Check it out.