Monday, October 27, 2008

More Vampire Distraction...

So, I did that thing where I stomp around the house at midnight on Sunday realizing that the house is a mess - no, a catastrophe, a crumb-infested lagoon of filth - and that I would start Monday with about 3 hours of house cleaning.

I would have to clean the house before the cleaning lady got there, because if you don't clean for the cleaning lady then you just end up paying for her to pick up your socks and dirty, mangy underpants, instead of doing the real stuff that involves scrubbing things with brillo and disinfecting with bleach.

And so, I made a grumbly comment to David about how "we just can't do this anymore" and I was very dramatic and he listened to me rant and didn't say a word, didn't remind me that I laid on the couch all evening, like a festering pile of laziness, finishing Stephanie Myers "New Moon" (book #2), which wasn't nearly as good or as riveting as "Twilight" because the whole book was about Bella and a hairy, 16 year old werewolf.

"New Moon" had the sexual tension of lint. No, lint on a turtle's back. That is, until Edward returned all cold-chested and ripped from the throes of vampire death. Then, it was on, people. And I couldn't care that the house was littered with cracker crumbs and chicken bits. The children ran naked and tore the curtains from the windows. They went to bed dirty-faced, begging for scraps of food, hair in knots and feet like they had just trekked through the Alps.

Which is why it's perplexing really that I cared so much about our hygenic inferiority at midnight. I mean, I made this proverbial bed, right?

But I did and after ranting I went to bed. And when I woke up in the morning, I found that my wonderful husband had wordlessly cleaned the whole house at like two in the morning. For his slightly crazy wife who is prone to the occasional irrational meltdown. He's a saint.

Sure, Edward will protect Bella from werewolves and rogue blood-thirsty vampires, but will he clean her house after she has a mental breakdown? I think not.

Bella, eat your heart out.

xxoo YM

PS: I have a new article up over at Imperfect Parent about my Kid's Halloween Manifesto. Check it out.



Christine said...

Jesus woman. I was proud that after my fit (and maybe calling Tony a jerk all Saturday) he vacuumed the whole damned house. Said house is all of 700 square feet, but still.

Damn it. Shall we trade? Maybe your hubs can train my S.O.? He has a friend in Harlem. Maybe it's time he go visit him, with an extended stay at your house for boyfriend boot camp.

Smashley said...

I am SO team Jacob! I love him! The sexual tension dies down as you go along, but I really love the whole series. Eclipse is better than New Moon, Breaking Dawn is the worst of the four. I want her to publish her original sequel to Twilight, which was apparently way too adult for her publisher. I say, make it an "alternative ending" in the adult-readers genre:)

The Mulligan Family said...

Ah Kim, you are definitely hooked. Soon we will find you in a dark alley trying to score illegal copies of yet unpublished Stephanie Meyers books!

So... when are you starting Eclipse? They are awesome stories, aren't they! Can't wait for the movie on 11/21.... just "old" me and a 100 screaming teenage girls!!!

cheesemongerswife said...

i didn't like new moon nearly as much at twilight...but that didn't stop me from reading it in 4 hours. i still have #3 & #4 to go. I have vowed to wait until the holidays to read them for the sake of my schoolwork. but that doesn't stop me from watching the twilight movie trailers over and over. that real life Edward is a hottie. makes me say God're a hot vampire! Whoo!

lacrema said...

I must admit that I'm completely in love with Jacob, too... Edward seems to controlling and cold (haha) to me. Although I'm sure I would take him if he was offered to me on a silver platter. And Eclipse was my fave of the series, so you have that to look forward to. And more child neglect, I guess.

I think it's funny how we all have to clean for the cleaning lady.

Jessica said...

I have been reading your blog for awhile and find you to be hilarious! :) My house went to pits when I read the Twilight 2 weeks...yes, all 4...I could not put them down! And, I work too! The second one was a true let down for me...the third one is good, but a is all about the first and fourth! Happy reading...