Monday, May 18, 2009

And As We Leave Santa Monica...

I wanted to give you a little round-up of my thoughts before we get on the plane back to NYC:

1. Earthquakes make your trip more exciting. Yes, as Krysta at Evil Chef Mom noted, I was an earthquake virgin until last night. On Twitter she asked me, "Is this your first quake?" Like she was asking me if this was the first time I ever had ice cream. Awww, how cute!...Your first quake! (Bitch) Apparently, I am also an earthquake weenie because I was legitimately freaked out. Under the bed? By the bed? Run outside? In the, that's tornados. Seriously...UNPREPARED for the big one.

2. There are large, blood-sucking ticks here in SoCal. And you can get bitten by them in your hotel room. David spent spent a couple hours in the Santa Monica emergency room after finding a large, blood-engorged tick hanging off his leg. When he returned, we found one on my back. Then, I went to the hospital. We had to have the bastards cut out of our bodies with forceps and scalpels. It was like minor surgery. The nurse was all, "Oh, I'm not going to tell you what the doctor is doing right now 'cause it's pretty gruesome." Thanks, Nurse Atilla the Hun. The kids never got the ticks. Good thing or I would've gone all mother load on someone. We moved rooms. That was the end of the ticks.

3. Disneyland is simply the happiest place on earth. You guys were right. It is cool to go to Disneyland. Way cool. Watching the girls meet Sleeping Beauty and the other princesses was amazing. They were over the moon. Also, the park is un-like any other amusement park. It is clean. People are happy, never crabby on line or barking at other people. I only heard one kid crying the whole day and it wasn't mine. No one ever tells you, "Oh your kid can't put her feet there." or "She's too little to ride Dumbo." or "Sorry Miss, your children need to be clothed." There is this air that anything is possible there. And in the end, I wanted to buy stuff to remember the day. I didn't feel bludgeoned into spending too much money and lived to feel horrible about it later. Disneyland marketing is like Tinkerbell's magic fairy dust. It makes me do stuff and feel good about it later. Anyway, Disneyland truly feels different than other theme parks. If you can't have fun with your kids there, you just can't have fun. Thanks for encouraging us to go, it was a wonderful day for all of us.

4. Santa Monica has a lot of vagrants. I know I'm stating the obvious here but there are lots of homeless people everywhere. And they are tan and pissed off. Everyday, a vagrant yelled at me. EVERYDAY. One morning, a middle-aged woman with a lot of luggage smiled at me and said "Hi" and I smiled and said "Hi" and then, she began yelling after me, "I wasn't saying "Hi" to you, lady because I was being nice. I just wanted to see if you'd say "Hi" back. I wasn't trying to be nice or anything, lady because I think you suck. I just wanted to see what you'd say..." Okay, I really thought she was someone's Gramma waiting for a car to pick her up to go to the airport. I thought she crocheted things and made cookies for her grand kids. The Santa Monica vagrants didn't want me to give them money, like capitalist NYC vagrants. No, they just wanted to yell at me, to vent a little, to get a little therapy by the beach. They used me as their punching dummy. I feel as though I made a therapeutic contribution here.

5. Everyone is very friendly by the beach. I was shopping at the grocery store, Von's, for food and snacks for the hotel room and a store employee came up to me and said, "How is your shopping experience today? Finding everything you need?" The employee was smiling, a lot. She looked oddly sincere, although I wasn't exactly sure because I live in NYC and no one has actually ever asked me how my shopping experience was. I mean, I kinda had no idea how to answer. It occurred to me she might be trying to set me up to pick my pockets or steal the cash out of my purse. I answered her quickly with a smile that I was great and then, quickly got away and checked my purse in the frozen food aisle. Cash still there whew! Seriously, very friendly, out-going people here. Like the NYC-born guy, J.J. who lives next door to the hotel who gave us free VIP passes to the amusement park at the pier. A nice bunch of folks, I tell you.

Okay, so today we head back home. I'll post some pics when I get there. Princesses will be involved and perhaps the single most innovative grocery shopping apparatus for families ever invented. Seriously, amazing. And totally SoCal.

I've missed you guys. Ready to head back to the real world...although the kids just want to go back to Disneyland.

xxoo YM



SaintTigerlily said...

Maybe I need to give Disneyland another make it sound so fun.


Also also: Welcome home soon. We have a foodie event surprise to tell you about in mid-July!

Krysta said...

ticks, not bed bugs? and are they going to give you some sort of discount? gross.

as for the earthquake... next time i'm going to be all mean like.

i'm going to be all "ticks? bwahahahahaha!" "dinner burned? bitch, i know you're a better cook than that. stop whining and man up!"

disneyland is awesome. i swear the but some sort of drug in the air. i'm glad the girls enjoyed it. looking foward to the pictures.

Krysta said...

well, shit! now you are going to be mean to me because i cannot type.

it was suppose to be "i swear they put some drugs in the air"

Melissa said...

I can't wait to see the pictures of absolute Disneyland joy on their beautiful faces. Stupid that I live 10 minutes away and haven't gone yet. *Cringe* I mean, we actually hear the booms of the fireworks from there at our house every evening. I know, I'm an idiot.

The vagrants are a trip, no?

As for the quake, man, I've lived here for 11 years and still. The quake last summer scared the bejeezus out of both me and Steve. He had just been laid off so he was at home and was just getting out of the shower. He freaked out thinking he'd have to run outside naked. But I was at my office with only one other guy, everyone else was in the field. And the ceiling rattled so hard and the building rocked back and forth... and just for a moment, I imagined the fear people feel in a deadly earthquake just before the building collapses on them.

Okay! So. On that happy note *cough* hope you had a great trip back!


Cheryl Arkison said...

Those vagrants, I know! When I visited my brother when he lived there I was shocked. It was too much for this Canadian gal.