I started reading Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight, which was a mistake because:
(1) I’m embarrassed to let anyone see that I am engrossed in a teen vampire novel and now I have to walk around with the book tucked up inside a David Sedaris memoir. Very awkward.
(2) I actually poached David’s eggs this morning while reading about Edward and Bella nipping at each other trying to stave off Edward’s blood lust and I almost flipped the eggs onto the floor. Should not read lusty novel with no sexual resolution, while cooking with hot water and sharp utensils.
(3) I’m pretty sure I let the children eat Snickers Bars and Cheetos for breakfast, just so I could finish the chapter where Bella meets Edward’s vampire family.
Damn you, Stephanie Meyers. You're killing me.