Roasted Pumpkin Seeds

I cook in Lucy's pre-k class every Monday. Last week we roasted pumpkin seeds. This week we make pumpkin pancakes. Before that, we made meatballs. We cook everything on an electric flat top, circa 1970.

The group, which changes every week, has about 20 minutes to make a snack for all 20 kids and teachers eat, too. The snack will sit 15 minutes before it is passed out. We have a hot pot, electric flat top, microwave and a hot plate to cook on. There is a fridge.

Picture it, six eager 4 year olds gathered round a boiling oil spurting frying pan, and dipping their fingers into raw meat and eggs. It's not a cooking class it's a tragic episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Some things about 4 year olds and cooking:

1. When cooking in a pre-k class you are always just one recipe step away from everyone losing their shit. Believe it or not, just cooking pumpkin seeds in oil and dousing them with salt is like a huge endeavor for a group of kids.

Even though, the temptation is to do something amazing and complicated with the kids, like making head cheese or flambeing something, or adding an extra step like beating egg whites until they're stiff (for pancakes), they can just hold it together long enough to put a few ingredients into a bowl before they start hucking hot, oily pumpkin seeds at each other with spatulas.


2. Kids pick their noses and cook at the same time. They just do. Do not question or leave the frying pan to grab the kid a tissue. Someone will nearly set themselves on fire half way to the tissue box.

3. Most 4 yr olds cannot recognize garlic and onions by sight or smell. No judgments on other people's kids, just sayin' I baffled them with my fresh produce.

One kid was able to identify Worcestershire Sauce as "barbecue", so that's something.

4. There's always one kid... There is definitely one kid in the group that is DYING to touch the hot griddle. DYING. I see her leaning in, putting her face super-close to the oil and dangling her fingers over the heat, sort of playing with the idea of slapping her whole hand onto the flat top.

This is the kid who is going to grow up to have unprotected, drunk sex with rock stars in bad hotel rooms. I kinda love her.

5. Someone will cry. It might be me. In the girls bathroom. It's junior high all over again.

6. Prepare for your kid to secretly hate that your being nice to other people's kids. Or not so secretly, as Lucy informed every kid in the group that she gets to do every step of the dish and do it first because I'm her mom and she's done all this before.

And that's when you realize the problem kid in the cooking class is the one you brought into the world. And so I'm not just cooking with the kids and preventing them from scorching themselves with burning oil or making sure they don't impale themselves on a fork. No, I'm making sure my daughter doesn't go all Kim Jong iI on the more good-natured, better-raised children in her class.

7. There was an episode with cheese... I look away for one second to shut off the flat top after the meatballs are done. To provide a safe environment, of course. I am ever-vigilant.

But I took my eyes off the container of grated cheese. What was I thinking? For one second. One measly second. Next thing, I know 6 little fists have plunged into the cheese, shoving it in their mouths, throwing it in the air. There is a snow bed of cheese on the floor. It is a blizzard. A cheese orgy. There is fighting. Jockeying for position next to the container. Someone is shoved. A herd mentality has formed. One kid slips on cheese and risks being stampeded by the cheese freaks. There are nearly tears. Cooking in pre-k becomes a cage match of death.

Then, the head teacher, Lisa, steps in and in a nano second, order is restored. She shuts off the lights and the kids drop the cheese. They look at her and immediately put their hands on their heads. I do, too. I am in awe of her powers.

I crave that kind of power in the world.

8. I convince myself the teacher thinks I'm a crappy parent... I like to torture myself.

9. I pick raw meat out of a child's hair... Hey, it happens.

10. The kids want me back Well, yes. Of course. But Lisa will be picking cheese out of her radiators until March.

YM
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Roasted Pumpkin Seeds on an Electric Flat Top in a Pre-K Classroom

1. Remove seeds from pumpkins. You'll need two pumpkins for most humans but four if you are providing snacks for 20. Pumpkins look big but some are not so fertile in the seed department.

2. Separate as much pumpkin gunk as you can from the seeds by hand.

3. Take seeds and put them in a nice big bowl and add cold water. Most of the seeds will rise to the top and the gunk will sit at the bottom. Remove with a strainer.

4. I wash the seeds again in a strainer just to get any remaining gunk off. (If there is gunk om the seeds, it will mold over, so you want it off)

5. Spread seeds out over a tea towel and let them dry out overnight.

6. When you are ready to cook them, use a cast iron, regular fry pan or if you are in pre-k, a griddle. Heat pan. Add olive oil. I like my seeds nice and oily, so don't be stingy. Add the seeds and cook them until they start to turn a nice golden brown on one side and tumble them over to cook on the other side. This will take 5-7 minutes.

7. Remove with a slotted spoon to a paper towel. Let the excess oil drain. Sprinkle generously with salt or any other herb, spice mixture you like. Can be saved in a plastic container for a week or so, but are better eaten warm and immediately.

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Kale Chips

This is exactly the kind of dish that my friend Lara, who is a vegan, describes as "the kind of food that you would laugh at me for eating."

And she's right. I do like to mock the vegans. I have to because I now am surrounded by vegan friends. I must have done something very bad in my former cooking life because now most of my best friends are vegans.

These people, incredible, loving, wonderful people that they are, have no real appreciation for my short ribs or pork belly or pork cracklins or for that matter, lobster with drawn butter or a great hunk of aged cheddar or Saint Andre or just a humungous knob of butter in just about any sauce. In fact, they are repulsed by it.

What? Repulsed by butter? I don't get it. How is it even possible that people don't like butter? Butter is the definition of awesome. It says so in the dictionary. And bacon. Don't get me started on bacon. I'm flumoxed.

But yet, I love these people and so, I have been trying to perfect my vegan kitchen repertoire. Because I didn't actually have a "vegan kitchen repertoire" and because if I didn't get one, we'd never be able to eat together. As much as I want to, saying, "I have a box of saltines in the cupboard for you to munch on" doesn't make for good friendships.


So, here's what I found out about veganism...you need to use a lot of olive oil (fat) and salt to make it taste good. If you see "fat free vegan recipes" out there, run for the hills. They will taste like communion wafer. Unless you don't have a very good palate and then, I suppose you'll put anything in your mouth.

And I think as a general rule, you should stay away from "fake foods" if you are a vegan novice (like me) fake bacon, fake cheese, fake butter. It's like some foreign land of products that you - as a non vegan - will have no idea how it shapes up in a recipe. And fake bacon is just wrong anyway. On so many levels. It's blasphemy, really.

My strategy has been to just do wholesome dishes with good fresh ingredients and just use what you are allowed to use from the pantry. But it feels a little like cooking in some game show where they give you a bottle of ketchup, a head of iceberg and 2 bunson burners and ask you to whip up a gourmet meal for six dignitaries from Sweden.

This is where kale chips make their entrance. I'm not a huge snacker, as you know. Snacks generally set off the carb-meter around here and most of you remember that David is generally opposed to carbs and I'm pretty sure that pumping your kids with organic crackers is still pumping them with crap even if it's organic crap.

That said, I also do not want to eat a snack that's not really a snack, but just boring, healthy leaves cloaked as a snack, with some hippy telling you how awesome it tastes and how good it is for you, but it really tastes like cardboard and dandelions. My taste buds are all over that kind of deception. When I do snack, I want it to taste great.

I am surprised - gobsmacked even - that a snack made of kale can actually taste good. Our friends Chuck and Corey, vegans of course, fall all over kale. They would french kiss the kale if they could. They don't try to disguise it in their cooking either or hide it in a sauce. They just put it right out there. Big buxom heavy leaves in their pasta, for instance, for all to see. Not one ounce of kale shame in that family. Their two fantastic kids age 4 and 2 inhale the stuff as if they've sprinkled it with chocolate and unicorn dust.

This is the exact opposite of me - I have kale shame. I see kale as a dark, hairy, unwieldy, bitter monster with a weird after taste that I hope never finds it's way into my farmer's market basket, for fear it might choke out anything delicious in the kitchen.

So, I have tried to find some love in my heart for kale and it has happened with kale chips. The preparation is easy. And the snack-pay-off is high. These taste great. Just rip the leaves into jagged shreds, coat and bathe them in olive olive and salt. (I do believe the kale is just a means of transport for the oil and salt, but still...) And bake for 10 minutes on a flat baking tray. They crisp up so beautifully it is surprising and they are so light in your mouth that they nearly disappear into a whisper on your tongue.

Tomorrow, I will make these for Lucy's pre-school class for their snack. This will be real test. Will 20 four year olds eat kale chips as if they've been given a bag of potato chips? We'll see. Lucy hasn't even been able to bring herself to try these yet.

But Lucy's teacher asked me to bring in a kale leaf for Charlie the class guinea pig, so I'm guessing if he'll eat it and half her class will try it, so will Lucy.

Lucy might not model me, but she'll surely model the guinea pig.

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Kale Chips

Ingredients

1 bunch of Kale
olive oil
salt

Preparation

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Tear kale off the heavy stem. Rinse well in water and dry as best you can with paper towel. Rip the leaves into jagged pieces. Each of these will be a "chip". They need not be perfect. They can be a variety of sizes and shapes.

Put the kale in a bowl. Pour in some olive oil - eyeball it, a glug or two - and get your fingers in there and work the oil into the leaves until they are all shiny and covered. Add more oil if necessary. You don't want them wet, but definately glistening and tinged with oil. Sprinkle with salt and toss gently to evenly coat the leaves.

Lay the kale pieces out on a baking tray. They should not be over-lapping or they will steam instead of bake. Each should have it's own little place. Put tray in oven and bake about 10-15 minutes or until the kale is crisp.

Best if eaten warm but not necessary. Try not eating the entire thing.

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Something Yucky. Something Yummy.

This post is partly about poop.

So, I'm about to tell you about the most ridiculously good chicken nacho recipe ever but first, Lucy's poop. See, yucky and yummy. Something for everyone.

Lucy is going through some weird stage with her poop. It's like she has fallen in love with - no, more like grown weirdly attached to - her poop. If you have the good fortune to be at our house when she takes a poop, she will make you and everyone else drop what they are doing and gather round the toilet in her bathroom and examine the shape and size of her poop.



And then, she beams as if she has done something truly outstanding, like found proof of the existence of God or cured cancer or something.

The other day, she said, "Look Mommy! It has a hook on the end!" and she was correct - there was a cute little hook on the end and it looked a little like a Cobra eating a bear eating a salmon with a hook in his mouth and so I said, "Wow Lucy! That looks like a cobra eating a beat eating a salmon with a hook in his mouth. That is a great poop."

And I meant it. It was truly a great poop.

Lucy also insists that no one flush the toilet containing her poops until her father has seen them and examined them and then commented on their unique qualities. God help us when David doesn't come home straight from the office, the bathroom gets locked up until the viewing to prevent any errant flushing.

Frankly, I think this is all David's fault because he gets very excited when she does a poop and the bigger it is, the more excited he gets and yells, "Crikey! That's a big one, Lucy! Well done!" and it sounds all Crocodile Dundee with his Australian accent. And Lucy gets proud and blushes and they like ceremoniously salute it as she flushes it off to sea.

It's a real father/daughter moment. Not the kind they write about in parenting books, but a moment all the same. We aren't fussy around here.

Yesterday, Lucy pooped a manatee kissing a baboon in a San Francisco trolley car and today it was a giant worm sleeping on top of a wombat while watching clouds pass by overhead. Then, Edie - not to be left out of anything - got in on the act and pooped a crocodile swimming in a swamp eating a rhutagaba and a rhododendron.

Sadly, everyday I can't wait to see what my kids poop out. I anticipate it's coming, these wacky poop characters. Will it be a snake or a wild boar? Will it be eating eagles talons or chicken's feet? It's like a potpourri of possibility.

Life has regained some of it's surprise and spontaneity and creativity...in the guise of defecation. No matter what's happening, at least twice a day now, we gather round the potty, reading the poop. As a family.

It's messed up, yes. But also nice in an odd sort of way.

Okay, so just when you thought you would never eat again...

I give you the best chicken nachos on the planet. Now, bear in mind, I'm not a nachos lover. They always look goopy, with all this mounded food on a plate and if you are eating them, you can bet there is a TV nearby with sports playing, a table full of co-workers who are as boring as communion wafers and drunk on their second glass of Chardonnay and we are all at TGI Fridays being served barely adequate bar food by an ill-trained college student named Amber.

See? Nachos not so good for me.

But our friends Missy and David across the hall were having a holiday party and David was woefully short of chicken dishes and he asked for chicken nachos. I made a huge mounding platter full and it was gone, like every morsel gone. And strangers kept coming up to me and asking me about how I prepared it. So, if you have a party where nachos are acceptable, this is the nacho dish to make. This was originally an Emeril Lagasse recipe, but I've re-worked it so you can eliminate some steps, make some of it ahead and keep your chips from getting soggy.

It's well worth all the effort.

xxoo YM

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Shredded Chicken Nachos with Pico De Gallo
Adapted from Emeril Lagasse

For the Chicken:
(Make ahead in the morning. Store chicken in fridge in juices to retain moisture)

* 3 tablespoons olive oil
* 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breast
* 4 teaspoons chili powder
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 2 cups thinly sliced onions
* 1 tablespoon minced garlic
* 2 cups chicken stock
* 4 teaspoons fresh squeezed lime juice
* 3 tablespoons of butter

Set a wide-mouthed 3-quart saucepan with lid over medium-high heat and add the oil to the pan. Season the chicken pieces with the chili powder and salt and toss the evenly coat. Add the chicken to the pan and sear for 3 minutes per side. They should have a nice crispy, dark exterior. Remove chicken from the pan and set aside.

Add the onions to the pan and a hunk of butter and saute for another 3 minutes. Add the garlic to the pan and saute for 1 minute. Pour the chicken stock over the chicken and bring to a boil. Reduce to low heat, cover and simmer until the chicken is very tender, about an hour and a half.

Take the chicken out and shred it on a platter. Spritz chicken with lime juice. Store chicken in stock in fridge.

For the Pico de Gallo:
(Make ahead in the morning. Store covered in fridge)

* 1 (14-ounce) can whole tomatoes, drained
* 1/4 cup chopped yellow onions
* 2 tablespoons minced cilantro leaves
* 1 jalapeno pepper, stem and seeds removed, finely chopped
* 2 teaspoons fresh lime juice
* 1 clove garlic, minced
* 1/2 teaspoon Emeril's Red Hot Pepper Sauce
* 1/4 teaspoon salt

Combine all the ingredients and either pulse the ingredients until the salsa is of uniform consistency but still chunky (abut 7 pulses) or use a pilon and do it by hand. (I do it by hand and it is always chunky and thick and beautiful). Transfer to a bowl and set aside in the fridge until you're ready to serve the nachos.

For the Nachos:
(Do right before serving)

* 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
* 4 tablespoons all-purpose flour
* 2 cups milk
* 1 small can chopped green chiles, drained
* 4 green onions, finely chopped, greens and all
* 2 cups grated sharp yellow Cheddar
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
* 8 to 10 cups corn tortillas
* 4 cups shredded chicken
* 2 cups shredded Monterey Jack cheese
* 1/4 cup green onions finely sliced
* 3/4 cup sour cream, for garnishing
* 1/2 cup sliced pickled jalapenos, for garnishing
* 2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves, for garnishing

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium-high heat and whisk in the flour. Cook, stirring constantly, for 2 to 3 minutes. Do not allow the flour to color. While whisking constantly, add the milk in a steady stream. Add the green chiles and bring the sauce to a boil. Cook, stirring frequently, for about 5 minutes, or until the sauce is thickened and bubbly. Add the Cheddar, salt, and cayenne pepper and stir until the cheese is melted and the sauce is smooth. Cover and remove from the heat.

In a large, ovenproof shallow casserole, put half of the chicken and half of the Monterey Jack cheese. Then, layer it again, more chicken, more Monterey Jack cheese. Do another layer if you have chicken and cheese. Pour the hot cheese sauce over the chicken, then evenly spread the remaining grated Monterey Jack over the top. Bake until the cheese is melted and bubbly and the nachos are heated through, 8 to 10 minutes.

While cheese is in oven, put chips out on a platter. (If you bake the chips with the cheese, they will get soggy). Take casserole out of oven when cheese is all melty and pour over chips. Garnish with the sliced green onions, sour cream, pickled jalapenos, spring onions and cilantro. Serve immediately with the Pico de Gallo alongside.

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Halloween

Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella. These costumes make them ridiculously happy.


Squirrely even before they had the candy.


David and the kids relieve the neighbors of their candy.

Lucy has to repeatedly resist the urge to say, "Trick or treat, smell my feet..." which she thinks is absolutely hysterical.


The girls begin to eat their candy double-fisted.


And the rest of the evening goes like this:

1. Initial sugar high
2. The ceremonial discarding of the wrappers all over my floor
3. A party with a whole bunch of other costume-clad kids across the hall
4. A second round of trick-or-treating when a new batch of kids show up who haven't trick or treated yet and all the kids go back out with empty candy bags and neighbors, who have too much left over candy, give them more handfuls of candy and fill up their second bag
5. Second tier sugar high
6. Kids eat, like, 2 bites of pizza at the party
7. Kids find marbles in the neighbors house and then, lose marbles in the neighbors house. Neighbors might secretly hate us.
8. Children find their bags of candy and pilfer a few more Kit Kats. Parents are too drunk or engrossed in adult conversation to care.
9. Third tier sugar high. All hell promises to break loose
10. Edie is found hiding a melted Twix in the front of her dress
11. 10:30 children's heads are about to explode.
12. Go home. Take off princess dresses. Brush Kit Kats out of teeth and pass out on the sofa.
13. Wake up in bed next morning in a haze of wine, Almond Joys and Sweet Tarts.
14. Nice Halloween.

xo YM Continue Reading...

Snack Mom

Thanks so much for your ideas and recipes these past couple of days and also for your advice - to relax, enjoy and not get stressed out over being chosen freakin' SNACK MOM. You guys are wise birds and your thoughtful comments really helped me be less neurotic.

And Anal. Obsessive-compulsive. Messed up. Everything.

So, what did I choose to do? Well, many of your great ideas came too late. I just didn't give you guys enough time to write in before I had to make an executive decision. So, this was my approach:


Lucy and I made popcorn balls - home-made, wrapped in Saran and then Pumpkin-colored tissue paper, tied with a bow. Making something from scratch (although these are ridiculously easy to make and probably do not qualify as scratch) made it feel special, like we made an effort and it gave the whole thing "event-like" status. Lucy begged me to go to school every hour until we finally left. She was over the moon about these little guys.

Fortunately, Lucy's vegan classmate was absent yesterday, so I didn't have to explain to his mom (who is lovely) that I didn't use vegan butter. Whatever that is.


I emphasized the non-edible Halloween treats, which I purchased cheaply and figured even if the kids didn't like my snack, at least they would be tricked into a grateful stupor over pumpkin straws, pumpkin napkins, little plastic ghost containers housing pretzels and boxes of Halloween tattoos.


It was a plastic extravaganza. I'm sure NYC moms all over the West side were happy to have one more plastic skeleton head in their possession. But having lots of pieces, also helped give lots of kids jobs to do, so maybe this justifies cluttering the ecological landscape.

Children were made happy. Be damned the environment.

I also brought fruit, lovely plump raspberries and red grapes, for weird kids who hate raspberries. I chased it with low-sugar apple juice, which was like exotic nectar when drunk through a pumpkin straw.

Okay, so this wasn't the healthiest snack, but someone was princess for a day...


Lucy really loved having been so involved in the preparation and the ritual passing out of the snack. And she was the only one wearing a Halloween costume, which did not bother her in the slightest, and served only to heighten her princess status and to make her feel even more princess-like.

Like this is possible.

Oh! and the shoes...


The girls in her class got down on the floor and actually ogled her sparkling Cinderella princess shoes. With lights. They got down on the floor. Really. I don't think I've ever seen my kid so ecstatic as when her peers are bowed down before her examining her feet. Amazing.

Anyway, the popcorn balls were a hit and the remainder went to the staff. The best popcorn balls are made with corn syrup, I think, but because I thought I might be taken to task for using "the poison", I went with marshmallows, which also probably make lab rats break out into cancerous lesions, but Lucy and I had a hoot raiding the bag of mini-marshmallows as we cooked.

Here's the recipe for popcorn balls. And thanks again for the recipes and snack ideas - watch for them - I am now slated to do the snack before Thanksgiving and for Lucy's birthday in February, I'll need to use them. I'm trying them all.

You guys are the best!

xo YM
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Popcorn Balls
Adapted from Cooking Light



This recipe makes 20 or so balls.

Ingredients

* 8 cups popped popcorn
* 1/4 cup butter
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
* 1 (10-ounce) bag marshmallows
* Cooking spray (or a little water works just fine)

Preparation

Put popcorn in a large bowl.

Melt 1/4 cup butter in a large saucepan over medium heat; stir in 1/4 teaspoon salt and (10-ounce) bag marshmallows. Reduce heat to low; stir frequently to prevent burning. Cook for 7 minutes or until the marshmallows melt and the mixture is smooth.

Pour marshmallow mixture over popcorn. Spray hands with cooking spray or get them wet and get in the bowl with your hands and coat the popcorn well. Shape popcorn mixture into 20 (2-inch) balls.

Let harden and cool. Then, wrap with cellophane or Saran Wrap and tissue paper and ribbon to make little parcels. Continue Reading...

Help!

I have to be snack mom on Thursday.

And not just snack mom...Halloween snack mom. I mean, it wasn't like they made me do it or anything, no pre-school teachers with guns or anything, but I heard myself volunteer and speaking in slow motion as if my voice had gone all loopy and distorted and I were having an out-of-body experience and couldn't stop myself from giving away the secret code or something.

And then, Lucy got all excited because the teacher asked Edie and I to stay in the classroom and do pumpkin carving with them, which is like a big snack queen honor, and Lucy was saying things like, "The best part will be when you first come to see me and I'll give you a big, big hug..."

Oh God. No going back now. The fate of my child's psychic health rests on this snack thing.

This all reminds me of my cyber-friend Matthew Amster-Burton who is like the king (only hipper and without the crown) of writing about cooking and kids at his blog Roots and Grubs. I've been stalking him since before I started blogging. He also writes for Gourmet.com which gives him this unapproachable allure that makes him seem even more God-like.

Anyway, Matthew has a book coming out next year called Hungry Monkey: A Food-Loving Father's Quest to Raise an Adventurous Eater and Matthew let me read a chapter a few months ago - because I am really a stalker and he probably just wanted to keep me from e-mailing him - and the chapter was called, "The Only Snack Dad in Pre-School" and in it, he goes through this protracted, neurotic and really hilarious search for the perfect pre-school snack and all the pressures of being a foodie parent and having to come up with a healthy, original, fun snack that meets our food sensibilities, pleases our kid and appeals to the finickiest, most allergy-infested group of people on the planet.

Matthew made home-made pretzels. I think he was sucking up to the teacher.

So, here's a question...WHAT THE HELL DO I MAKE FOR SNACK?????

I need your help. Please send me ideas, recipes, your creative vision. Whatever. God! Anything! It has to taste good, be fun, easy enough to make and relatively healthy. It also has to be worked into a Halloween theme, so keep that in mind. And it has to be something a food lover would be proud of serving. I mean, I could send Lucy to school with a package of Kraft slices and some Go-Gurt, but I have a reputation to consider, so do me proud.

Yes, yes..you'll get all the credit. If I use your snack, I'll post it and link to you.

Seriously people, I'm a little terrified of being booed out of the classroom.

xo YM

And a special thanks to Culinary School Guide who honored me by putting this blog on their list of the "Top 100 Blogs for Foodies". Really, I am thrilled and amazed to even be included with such amazing bloggers. Thanks guys! Continue Reading...